Just last week, I had received a book in the mail that I have been waiting to read for a very long time. The book was Eighteen Years by Madisen Kuhn, a writer who had become famous for her work through Tumblr. She has now branched out to Instagram and YouTube and she even has a blog (https://madisen.co). You probably have seen her work on Pinterest or Tumblr, maybe even Instagram; but you may not have known her name because it is always initialed m.k.
As I have been reading the book, I have come across many different writings of hers that have just struck something inside and made me feel something that is indescribable. Whether it relates to me personally or what I think about life, these poems and writings have found meaning in my heart and mind. So this week, i will be sharing 10 m.k. writings that made me feel some type of way.
1) Truth
i think the world
would be a nicer place
if we stopped pretending
we knew everything
about everyone
2) Why pt. i
there's something
entrancing about you,
i hear melodies like honey
when you enter my mind
you make me smile
even when
the rain is falling
and i think i could
make you happy, too
the two of us together
could be as beautiful as
the setting sun
but of course
the wicked reality is
we'll never get
the chance
3) Awakening
i long for a life i have control of
i want a space of my own, decorated
with photos that hold nice memories,
soft pillows, and scented candles
i want shelves filled with books of
adventure and poetry
i want to wake up every morning
excited for what is to come
i want to look up at the sky
and feel the sun warm my face
i want to go on long walks and hikes
and feel healthy and strong
i want to feel productive and satisfied
i want to take more photographs
and take up new hobbies
i want to become friends with
more interesting people
who will tell me stories about
places i've never been
i want to feel alive
4) Masks
please remember,
no one is as
strong
as they seem
no one is as
carless
as they pretend
to be
5) I Thought
what do you do
when you love someone
and you're bursting
literally bursting
to let them know
but you can't
because it's destructive
it's no good for you
and it's no good for me
i can't let go of it
i love you today
and tomorrow and i love
you past any thought
i could think up
it's wrong though
because you aren't right
you blemish my heart
and leave me with bruises
that will never fade
so what do i do?
because i can't stop
loving you
6) Writing Advice
write from your heart: scribble down words
when you're crying at 2am, or right after
you've gotten home from spending time with
someone you love, whenever your emotions
are at their peak. writing is best when it's
pure and raw and genuine. don't filter when you
write, just let your soul flow out onto the page
7) I'd rather have a lovely heart than a lovely face
I'd rather have scars on my cheeks
And a crooked nose and
Bad skin and honey hips
Or boring eyes and boring hair and a boring mouth
And someone tell me
"You're beautiful,"
Because I'd know they meant
I am beautiful in the way I talk,
In the way that I listen, in the way that I love,
In the way that I am
Then have
Pretty lips and pretty teeth and
Pretty hair and a pretty nose
And ignorantly believe
That being beautiful in the way that I look
Is enough
8) Finally
i spent a lot of time
searching for affection
in shallow spaces
i gave people bits of me
they didn't deserve
and i let myself be hurt,
because i thought
that's what i deserved
but once i let go
of trying to shove puzzle pieces
in places they did not fit,
once i let go of all the hate
i secretly had stored in the
gashes that decorate my heart
i met you
9) Black and White
if you're laying in bed
wrapped up in sheets
of miserable thought
go to sleep
if thumbing through old messages
only causes your heart to ache
and long for something unattainable
erase them
if it hurts to keep
everything you're feeling
bottled up inside
let it out
if you're clinging onto someone
that doesn't treat you like
you're worth the world
let them go
because sometimes
we choose to believe
that things are only
indistinguishable shades of grey
when in reality,
life is more black and white
than it seems
if you're unhappy
with the way
you are living your life
change it
10) Summer
you told me
you were going to change
to be a better you for me
and you said you wanted
so badly to make this work
i gave you every bit of me
and you tried to give me
every but of you, but
it was too difficult
for you to try to love yourself
when you were giving
so much of yourself to me
before i didn't want to let go,
i wanted to keep believing that
maybe
you'd be able to love me
as much as i loved you
and now that i've let go,
it doesn't feel like you're gone
more so, it feels like i'm the one
who has left you standing
with your face in your hands,
wishing you'd been able to be
a better you for me
i don't doubt one day
you'll be an amazing you
for someone else
and that one day
it'll all make sense to both of us
and i don't doubt
that one day
i will find someone
who will love me
as much as you wanted to
