For a while, and I mean a long, long time, I was not okay. I was in a state of gloom and doom, sorrow and heartache. I felt so much loss I was sure I would never gain again. I didn't know how to find happiness, until one day, happiness found me again.
1. Getting out of bed & getting ready wasn't so bad anymore.
It felt nice to dress cute and feel pretty. Look good, feel good, right?
2. A bad day didn't mean I was falling apart again.
It's just a bad day, not a bad life. Not every day can be perfect, but one yucky day doesn't have to become a series. I try and work through whatever is wrong, rather than dwell.
3. I could look at the sky and smile.
I could look up at the clouds, feel the sun on my face and remember there's a beating heart inside my chest-full of life.
4. I felt motivated again.
To go to the gym, to take notes in class, to do something nice for a friend. I felt a burst of energy that had been missing for so long.
5. Going out meant having a good time- not blacking out.
I no longer drank to feel numb, or until I forgot my own name. Instead, I drank with friends to loosen up after a long week, and have a good night.
6. I lost the magnetic connection to my bed.
I spent more time upright and active, instead of lying in an abyss of blankets.
7. I learned not to let my tragedies define me.
This one was key. Although what I have gone through will always be a part of who I am, I cannot shape my entire life around it. At only 19, I have so much ahead of me to look forward to, and I can't hold myself back anymore.
8. Coffee can make almost anything possible.
A little kick of caffeine can boost me up just the little bit I need to get started on my responsibilities.
9. I could be happy for no specific reason.
I would find myself smiling to myself as I walked to class, or making an effort to keep a conversation going with a stranger.
10. I could sing Taylor Swift again.
I could scream the lyrics at the top of my lungs like some sort of cleansing experience that made me feel like I was in my own concert, singing my own anthem.
