I turned 19 on Friday, August 7. With another birthday comes another period of reflection on the last 365 days of my life. My first year as an official adult was tough, but I gained more knowledge about friendship, grown-up responsibilities, and personal growth than I ever thought I would. Here are some important lessons that have come from the many experiences of my eighteenth year.
1. Don't take your parents for granted.
This is by far the biggest lesson I've learned since going away to college. During the first few weeks of school I, like many other freshmen, was too busy socializing and trying to get a general feel for campus lifestyle to regularly talk to my parents. As finals and the stress of second semester rolled around, though, I realized how much I actually needed my mom and dad. Being away from home for extended periods of time at a young age and learning to face "the real world" is difficult. Having a parent who is willing to listen to you break down over the phone about a tough professor or stressful schedule -- or even let them tell you all the details of your week -- makes the struggle of navigating adulthood a lot more bearable. As I get older I'm sure I'll continue to rely on my parents for their unconditional love, advice, and support, which is something so amazing it should never be forgotten or taken for granted.
2. Find a small moment within the bigger one and fully enjoy it.
I probably took more pictures over the last twelve months than I ever have in my life. Young adulthood is an exciting time when the world seems full of opportunity and adventure. There are so many new people and places I've experienced that I often feel the urge to capture every square inch of space and document every detail of where I am and how it makes me feel. The huge visual aspect of social media sites like Facebook and Instagram only adds to this desire. But as wonderful as it is to be able to share sunsets, art, or the aesthetic of fancy restaurants with friends and family, I've learned the importance of being present. Putting your phone, camera, and all other distractions aside to soak in one moment of raw, untouched beauty is one of the most gratifying things in life.
3. Learn the difference between want and need.
This one seems to be taking quite a bit longer than expected to get through to me...oh, the joys of being young and hungry! Seriously, though, when you go from living under the security of your parents' roof (and their money doubling as your money) to a life of bank account balances in the single digits, something's gotta give. From now on I'm going to think before I drop a decent amount of cash on a purchase. Is this something that is absolutely necessary in order for me to live my life in the simplest terms possible? Or could I go without it?
4. Save, save, save!
...because life is too short to try to survive solely on Diamond Dollars. This lesson goes hand in hand with the prior one. A huge part of being an adult is managing your finances and planning ahead for what you will need money for in the future. This summer I put about 60% of every paycheck I earned into a savings account, and I feel so much more comfortable with the knowledge that those funds will be available for an emergency, paying off loans, buying a car or house, or whatever other "grown-up life events" may arise in the next decade.
5. Treat every person you interact with like they matter.
It's simple, really -- this year I've learned that your perspective of the world you live in shapes how it affects you. You give what you get, and if you treat the people you meet genuinely and with instant kindness, it's very likely that they will value you more and grow to treat you the same way. Treating every encounter and opportunity like it may be the most important one of your life could open doors you've never dreamed of.
6. Define your experiences and mistakes instead of letting them define you.
Taking control of your wrongdoings is a vital part of growing up and a survival skill in life. It doesn't even have to be a mistake; if you were part of something really great and changing, be proud of it! Young adulthood is all about defning yourself, and owning each big moment, good or bad, is helpful as you slowly put together the puzzle pieces of your identity.
7. It's OK to be stressed.
Stress is normal! Stress is healthy! It is a completely valid emotion and you are allowed to feel it. I've learned that stress itself matters a lot less than what you do with it. You can wallow in the feeling of being hopelessly overwhelmed, or you can work through it little by little and come out of it a wiser person than you were before.
8. Distance can be a good thing.
Nothing about this year was as hard as leaving the nest and living on my own for the first time ever. Before college, I hadn't been away from my parents for more than two days. I'm not going to lie, the distance was and still is a hard adjustment, but I also think it's necessary for every young person. This is a time for blossoming as an indivdual, for developing and affirming your own belief system and lifestyle, and in order to do that you need to distance yourself from everything you knew as a child. Establishing your own home and planting roots in a new part of the world is incredibly exciting!
9. Independence and dependence on others can coexist.
As nice as it is to live assuredly and feel confident that you can do this whole adult thing on your own, it's also great to have people whom you can turn to when you need them. I can make plenty of new friends and promising connections, but I know that there is a select group of true blue best friends who support me and love me through all of my ups & downs. Balance being comfortably alone with accepting the comfort of others.
10. You are your number one priority.
This one requires very little explanation, but I think it's the hardest life lesson of all. I'm putting all my effort and energy into fully loving who I am and making myself a priority in my busy life. It can be draining and ridiculously complicated, but once you master self-care, the stage is set for you to reach the marvelous potential that awaits you.
