Finals week is upon us and I barely survived dead week to be completely honest. Now my main concern isn't just taking the finals that would ultimately make or break my GPA and determine my future and whether or not I can work a stable job that would give me a steady income to own as many dogs as I want. I'm concerned with, well, living. Trust me when I say it's impossible to stay well fed, well rested and even well showered during finals week. It's just not ideal. Nonetheless, I always tell myself this finals week will be different. I'm such a liar. Here are 10 lies every college student tell themselves during finals week.
1. I won't procrastinate.
This is the biggest damn lie you tell yourself every finals week. You swear on everything you will begin studying the minute you get out of your last class, but then pizza calls your name and next thing you know you're sitting in your sweats, watching re-runs of Friends, scarfing down an entire large pizza by yourself. You would undoubtedly earn an A+ if "Netflix" and "pizza" were offered as a course though.
2. I won't pull all-nighters.
No matter how many times you tell yourself you will sleep a full 7-8 hours a night so you can be well rested and well prepared for your finals, you never do. As sad as it is to say, there's just no time to waste. Whether it's finishing up your quarter-long project, or preparing your last communications speech, or writing that final twelve page essay, there's always something occupying your time other than sleep. During finals week, it's normal for 5am to be your bed time and getting, hell, 3-4 hours of sleep per night is a f*cking success.
3. I'll eat healthy.
You've been told several times that healthy food is brain food, yet all your brain seems to think about and crave is junk food. Let's be real, when you're crying over not being able to solve that last calculus problem, will an apple or a tub of ice cream seem more comforting?
4. I'll go to the gym.
Because you're eating so unhealthy, you know you have to hit the gym to avoid the freshmen fifteen or to keep it from coming back. But reality is, you barely have time to breathe. Your "break" is when you go to the bathroom with your phone or when you go shower. So, horizontal running will do.
5. I'm going to avoid social media.
It's a force of habit to check a social media outlet every hour. What if your mom posted another picture of your dog on Facebook? What if that cute guy in your political science class liked one of your Instagram pictures? What if Frank Ocean finally decided to come out of hiding and dropped his new album? See, you haveto be on social media or else you'll miss out on, well, everything.
6. I'm not going out.
Me at 11am:
Me at 11pm:
You tell yourself you're gonna study nonstop, 24/7 for the next week. But then after a long and exhausting day of vigorous studying, the thought of "letting loose" and "taking a little break" creeps into your mind. Next thing you know, you wake up on the floor of your kitchen with margarita breath and a half eaten burrito. Sh*t.
7. I have more time.
You never have more time. Never.
8. I'll drink less coffee.
You probably drink just as much coffee, if not more than you do water during finals week. It's inevitable. It's your fuel, the reason you can stay awake, the reason you're alive to be honest.
9. I won't watch Netflix.
OK, so maybe the reason you don't get that 7-8 hours of sleep isn't all because of the workload/study load you have but because of you religiously watch Netflix. I mean, maybe another episode of "New Girl" before I sleep wouldn't hurt?
10. I'm okay.
I always tell myself I'm OK when I'm really not during finals week. I'm stressed, depressed, and not even well dressed considering the fact that I've worn nothing but yoga pants and sweats for the past week. But you know what? Everybody else isn't okay either. So it's okay to not be okay.
You're a liar if you claim you haven't told yourself at least one of these lies going into finals week. These lies just make this week of hell more bearable. As much as finals week sucks ass, the feeling of relief afterwards is indescribable, especially when all your hard work and studying pays off. Don't lose hope. Remember, pain is temporary, but GPA is forever.
