Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always had a special bond with my Mema. It probably helps that I am her name sake and the fact that I live maybe 5 minutes away from her. But regardless we have a very close relationship, and she means the absolute world to me. She has been there for me since the very beginning. I remember as a little girl always wanting to sit in her lap (surprise I still do), writing her birthday poems (also still do), and going to “big church” with her (hmm some things never change). I remember all the sleepovers with her and my Big Daddy snoring like freight trains, all the times she would let me be excused from the table even though I hadn’t cleaned my plate, and all the times she got me out of Big Daddy giving me a “raw hide sandwich” for misbehaving. As I grew up I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to share her interests, her traits, her care, her faith, her honesty, and her wisdom. As I grew up, we continued to stay close which is something I am so grateful for. She was there for me through the bossy elementary school days, the tragic and embarrassing days, and the difficult and tricky high school days. She was my rock, my supporter, and number one fan, even when cancer and other problems got in her way. She never once let me down. She never once didn’t live up to being the “one and only Mema”. She has taught me so many lessons about life, love, faith, and happiness. These are lessons that I will forever hold dear to my heart. They are lessons that shaped the person I am today and the person I want to be in the future. So thank you Mema for being you. Thank you for showing me unconditional love and for always believing in me. Thank you for making me who I am. I want to share a few of the many many lessons my Mema has taught me. Hopefully, you will learn a thing or two… I know I have.
1. Always keep the Lord at the center of your life.
Ever since I was little Mema has been a shining light for Jesus in my life. She was always in Sunday School, always at church, always helping others, and being an example for us. As I grew up and began my own relationship with the Lord, she always encouraged me. Mema always instilled in me the importance of continuously growing and deepening my relationship with Christ. She continuously prayed for me. She continuously sought after the Lord in all areas of her life. She led by example and based her life on the teachings in the bible. She always knew the right verse for every situation. She taught me it is okay to just give situations to the Lord because some things need to be in his hands. I think God knew she would touch every life she came in contact with in a positive way. She truly is an angel.
2. Nobody is perfect, it is okay to make mistakes.
Mema is pretty close to perfect in my eyes. But she does make mistakes, she is human. Does she let these mistakes define her? No. She has always taught me to think through decisions and to go with your heart and what you think is right. But sometimes you can be wrong. Your wrong choices do not define your character. It is okay to mess up every now and then but you need to learn from your mistakes and not repeat them. It is okay not to have it all together. It is okay to make mistakes because nobody is perfect.
3.Always be honest.
Now this is one that is quite important to ole Mema. She thinks you should always be honest and tell the truth, even if the truth isn’t what people want to hear. She always has this honestly about her , you know that she is going to tell you what she thinks. Sometimes she sugar coats it, most of the time she is pretty upfront. Sometimes it's hard to hear the people's honest thoughts, but I've learned to appreciate Mema's honesty. She tells me the truth because she cares about me and wants to be honest with me. I’ve learned from her that if you are honest about things from the beginning problems don’t arise later on. The truth just makes things easier. Honesty is the "best policy" to Mema.
4. You can’t change your family, you just have to love them anyway.
Every family has flaws. Some families have many flaws and many problems. But you cannot change that. You cannot change who God picked as your family. You just have to love them. Yes, you can try to change them for the better. But you cannot change them completely as a person. You do not get to choose your family. But you do get to choose how you treat them. She always taught me the importance of loving my siblings even when they drove me crazy. She taught me to respect my mom and dad because that’s what the bible says. Mema always kept everybody together. Yes, every family has their fights, but we never had any fallouts. I am so thankful for that. I think the basis of a strong family is a strong family leader, and that’s Mema.
5. Always be polite and have manners.
Mema taught me probably one thousand things about manners and being polite. If I tried to mention all of them it would take hours, so I’ll keep it short. You always say yes mam and no sir. You never show up to a dinner or a trip without some sort of gift or food. You always write thank you cards after receiving gifts or being shown hospitality. You shouldn’t call someone after 9 p.m or before 9 a.m. You should always do things for people when they are sad, sick, lost a loved one, or it’s their birthday. You should always offer to pay your part on a 1st date (if the boy let’s you, you shouldn’t go on a 2nd date). You should be the kind of a person a boy’s mother would want as a daughter-in-law. I am lucky I was raised to understand the importance of manners and being polite.
6. Appearance is important.
One thing that drives Mema crazy is when I wear a t-shirt and nike shorts with my hair in a bun. She does not think underdressing is cute or tredny. She always says you should dress to impress because you never know who you are going to meet. Whether running to the grocery store or going out to dinner Mema always is dressed to a tee. She loves fashion, jewelry, and shoes. I assume this is where my love for fashion and the finer brands originated. She taught me people judge you based on appearance so one should always have the perfect outfit, fixed hair, and good jewelry to make a good impression. She has an outfit for every occasion, season, and trend. Elegance and class never go out of style and she has taught me that.
7. There is nothing Red lipstick can’t fix.
Referring back to number 6, Mema is all about her makeup being done perfectly. She firmly believes there is nothing some good red lipstick and “rouge” (blush) can’t fix. If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard her say a million times “put some color on your lips”. She thinks it can save any outfit, hairstyle, or bad eyebrow job. She is all about her lipstick and probably has 500 tubes in her house, purse, and car. She taught my mom the lipstick lesson growing up and it stuck. You will never see my mom without her red lipstick. I may not be the hugest fan of makeup, but I do believe in the power of a good lipstick.
8. Always have good recipes at your disposal.
If you know my Mema, you know she is the Queen of a southern kitchen. She has thousands of delicious recipes up her sleeve. She knows how to turn any simple meal into a feast, can prepare food for a huge group of people, and always has some type of dessert prepared. Growing up, some of my favorite memories with Mema revolve around the kitchen. I remember making sweet potato biscuits from scratch, making homemade pound cakes before every vacation, and frying the best fried chicken on the planet. She taught me so many recipes that I hope I will make for my own family one day. She showed me the power of a good meal and how it brings people together. She also taught me the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
9. Do not take things for granted.
She always tells me to think about the good not the bad. She looks for the good in every situation, the good in ever person, and the good in me. In every situation, she tries to remain positive. She never let anything bring her down. Whenever her cancer came back she stayed so positive. She stayed strong for us at all times. Whenever she started feeling sick again last year I got so scared. How would I ever be okay without her, how would any of us. But then she reminded me instead of focusing on the negatives, think of the positives. Think of all the good things life has given me and not focus on the things that are going wrong (p.s SHE IS ALL BETTER NOW WHOOP WHOOP). She taught me to always be thankful for what God has given me. She always said to enjoy the little things about life, because most of the time those are the important ones. I am so grateful for all of our little things.
10. And finally, always act like a lady.
This is another one of Mema’s favorite phrases. This may seem like a simple thing, act like a lady. But it has much deeper meaning. When she says this she means so much. She means to be kind, be considerate of others, and go out of your way to make someone's day. Be sweet, be thoughtful, and give a compliment. Do the right thing, don’t have a potty mouth, and make good choices. Be respectful, not only to others but to yourself. Act like you have some sense and was raised right. Take the high road and always be the bigger person. Mema always said to surround yourself with good company, because having positive people in your life can make all the difference. She taught me to act like the kind of person she would be proud of, the kind of lady she is.
I am so thankful for my Mema. She is my rock. She keeps me grounded and is always there for me. I am so blessed by her every single day. I am so grateful for our “little things” like our daily phone calls, cry sessions, and long talks. I am so thankful to have such an amazing role model in my life. She is my bestfriend. I do not know what I am going to do in the fall when I am three hours away from her. But I know we will figure it out, I know she will continue to be there for me during this next phase of my life. She has shaped the person I am today thanks to her many many lessons. I am so thankful that God picked her to be my Mema. I hope I can be just as fabulous, classy, and the perfect southern belle just like her. Love you forever Mema!
