We’ve
all been told how absolutely annoying and frighteningly plastic the
millennial generation has become, but we deny it like Kylie Jenner’s
plastic surgery. And with what refutation? When did we become the very
definition of “basic” and deem the term hashtag worthy? We millennials
choose to brush aside the consequences of who we are becoming, and
disregard the dangers of the pop culture trends we glorify. These are
the lessons millennials need to learn before reality punches you in the face with them.
1. The world owes you nothing.
I don’t know about my fellow ENTJs out there, but I’ve about had it with this. What’s the term, tee-ball mentality? My toddler-to-preteen peers knew how to fail, and fail hard. We knew what it meant to taste to the dirt and get beat out for pretty much everything. We didn’t lose because we were losers; we lost because we didn’t train hard enough, thus bringing me to my next point.
2. What doesn’t kill you DOES make you stronger.
Parents, it’s understandable that your purpose in life is to put children on this earth and make sure they survive in it, but that won’t happen without pain. At some point, you have to let your baby jump the shark and discover the harsh meaning of independence.
3. You don’t deserve praise for meeting expectations.
Newsflash: getting a job, graduating high school, and doing what you are told are no feat. They are expectations set for your benefit. When you are asked to take on a new assignment at work, don’t expect an office party to celebrate. That’s what your paycheck is for. Millennials expect gratification for everything we do correctly. I hate to break it to you, but reality is no kinder than the manager who’s out to get you. Work hard when nobody’s looking, and then you will achieve something worth major praise.
4. If your parents still pay, you still owe.
You might have reached the age of 18 or 21, or whatever miraculous age it is that you consider embarking on adulthood, but if your parents still pay the bills -- phone, car, college tuition, just to name a few -- you still belong in servitude. Sorry about it.
5. Quit asking for “fair.”
As my teacher used to say, “There’s only one thing that’s fair, and it comes around in September.” That’s where you get candy apples and ride the Ferris wheel, if you’re from the South. Unfortunately, not everything in life is equal and justified. Pink slips and downsizing aren’t fair, but they happen to some of the best people. Just remember,no matter how good you are nobody is immune to tragedy. Stay humble and, as they say, appreciate the finer things.
6. Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about.
Millennials stole something and ruined it: originality. Everywhere you look, you see nothing but the same picture with the same crop job and filter and witty caption as everybody else on social media. There is no creation being introduced. Google has all the answers, so why would need an individual processing, amirite? There is no such thing as original thought anymore, and that’s pretty scary. Benjamin Franklin was right, if we aren’t creating, we are declining as a society.
7. Stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.
You know where I’m going with this. While I am not above admitting I’ve made this mistake, I’ve just gotta beg you for one second to look at what we’ve done to ourselves:
- Same.
- #blessed.
- Twerk/turnt up.
- Remixing childhood jingles into our sick party beats.
- Bae.
- White girl status.
I can literally smell the brain rot rolling off your vintage hipster beanie right now. For the record, I can’t literally smell that. The term you’ve all been looking for is “figuratively.”
8. People, animals and Starbucks are not accessories.
Your GBF (gay best friend) is not a social cause to tout your humility and general acceptance of the LGBT community, nor is he or she a toy to carry in arm like your poodle. That might be a toy, but you get the point. Starbucks, while apparently trendy, is for coffee addicts, too, not just #basicwhitegirls so leave my hazelnut cappuccino and me alone, unless you desire to face my early morning wrath, m‘kay?
9. A jack of all trades is a master of none.
One of my bosses in college pointed out a girl to me. This girl was an RA, an orientation leader, SGA officer, school ambassador, Greek, and many other things. He pointed out what a mediocre person she was, and when I contested that by saying, “Hold up -- look at all of the things she’s involved in,” he responded, “But she doesn’t excel in any of them.”
Millennials like to think we can save the day with our multitasking skills, and odds are, we do so better than the generation before us. I mean, we have The almighty Internet at our fingertips -- duh. But let’s face it, nobody can choose to do everythingand still be better at one thing than anybody.
10. Social media is neither your journal, nor your net(worth).
As a bonus, this one doesn’t just go out to the millennials, but to the models who made us this way.
We’ve all seen it: the nudes leaked all over school, the private message gone public that ruined”your best-friends-forever cruise plans. We’ve seen employees get fired for complaining about their job or releasing information that shouldn’t have been public knowledge. Can anyone say, “Three cheers for Hillary?”
My first point is, social media is not your journal. Don’t tell it your secrets unless you’re prepared to share them with literally (correct usage) the whole world.
Secondly, social media may be your network, but it's not your net worth. We desperately follow and promote vapid pop-culture trends and succumb to societal standards because what other choice do we have?
I can sit here all day and make fun of my fellow millennials for the things we will someday blush over, and dread the day our children discover the shameful empire we created. I won’t because the truth is, some of the biggest proponents of millennial faults are those most destroyed by them.
There is a reason suicide rates have hit the highest rate they’ve seen in 25 years. Our culture is destroying itself, feeding on the humiliation of others and raising the bar of acceptance to an impossibly high standard. The truth is, this generation wants to see everyone else fail. Remember when I said earlier that growing up, we knew if we failed it was because we didn’t train hard enough? The result of the tee-ball mentality is that everybody would rather spend their time causing others to fall than focusing on building themselves up, in order to reach success.
It’s a sad generation, but it is a generation of fighters. Let me say this, and you can go about your day: you are the sum of those you surround youself with.Don’t
let your likes define you. Let your identity be your faith, the books
you’ve read, your aspirations and the talents that extend your
potential and focus your vision, rather than flexing your finger tips
and blurring your eyesight.