For a very long time, I couldn’t get over what happened and it played over and over in my head. I wished our paths would haved never crossed, and I let my anger take over all my emotions. I was so hurt and discontent with life, and I began analyzing everything I had learned from our time together. Being cheated on was the worst thing to ever happen to me, and I couldn’t understand why. Maybe it was to teach me these 10 lessons….

1. I'm not good enough

He left me for someone else. She’s prettier than me, smarter than me, and better than me. There’s always going to be someone better and I can’t compete.

2. Hearts are made for breaking

He disregarded everything between us for a one-night stand. He left me for someone. He acted like my feelings didn’t matter. He broke my heart because it didn’t matter. All boys break hearts. Hearts are made for breaking.

3. Love isn't real

If he loved me, he wouldn’t have cheated on me. How can you tell someone you love them but cheat on them? If you love someone, you should love only them and your attention shouldn’t be swayed that easily. There’s always going to be temptations, and if you give into them you must not really love that person. You hear about so many scandals and breakups in the media, love must not be real.

4. Promises aren't meant to be kept

What was the point of a promise ring if it went from my finger to hers? If you can make promises that easy and then forget about them the next day because something better comes along, why make a promise in the first place? Promises are just a bunch of words put together that don’t mean anything anymore.

5. Karma will never be good enough

I spent hours in my bedroom plotting my revenge and payback. How could I make you hurt the way you hurt me? Nothing could ever teach you how badly you broke my heart. Karma couldn’t get back at you strong enough. I knew I would never harm you because it would hurt me to hurt you. But I didn’t understand why it hadn’t hurt you to hurt me. You knew what cheating would do, you knew it would break my heart, and you knew it would destroy us. How could you do that to me and to us?

As time went on, the hurt and anger started to vanish. One day I walked past my ex boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with and my face didn’t heat up, my heart didn’t have a deep pain, and I didn’t want to flee the scene. I couldn’t change what had happened between us, but that didn’t mean our entire relationship was a lie. We had some great times together, and I’m thankful for all the ways he had been there for me and supported me over the years we spent together. With my heart and mind both at ease and peace with the situation, I realized the last five lessons the boy who cheated on me taught me.

6. Love myself

I was so angry for so long. I wanted to listen to every hate filled breakup song and tell everybody about what you did to me. I wanted to wallow away in self-pity, read sad quotes, and hate men forever. However, as I healed, I learned I don’t need a boy. This sounds so obvious and it’s something everybody tells you but when you’ve been with someone for as long as we were together, they become part of your daily life and functioning without them isn’t the easiest. I learned how to forgive myself after spending so long putting the blame on me. I realized that cheating is a choice and it was a conscious choice you made. I wasn’t at fault, I didn’t push you to do it, cheating was your decision and I couldn’t blame myself for that. I learned to love the way my hair looked when it was straight, even though you loved it curled. I learned to love spending time with myself, absorbed in a good book or color coding my agenda; you know how much I love being organized. I learned to spend my time surrounded by happy people and the positive vibes they released.

7. What I deserve

I learned exactly what I want and deserve both in life and in my next relationship. When the right man comes along, he will have all the traits the boy who cheated on me didn’t. Honesty. Love. Kindness. Loyalty. Understanding. The right man will prove that promises are made to be kept and they’re more than just a collection of words. He will understand why my past with you makes trusting in the future hard and he will appreciate when I give him my trust and he will not take advantage of that. He will love me, even on the days when I’m not very lovable. He will be loyal to the promise and commitment he made to me and to us.

8. Appreciate the little things in life

As I began healing, I began to notice things I hadn’t noticed in a long time. Like when the flowers first peek through the dirt in the spring after being hidden by the icy ground all winter. I began to spend more time on my makeup, appreciating the feeling of the soft brushes on my face. I noticed the emotion an artist put behind their artwork. I noticed the little things and I appreciated the little things. I appreciated a sunny day in the middle of winter and the feeling of the sun’s warmth radiating on my skin. I appreciated a friendly smile from a stranger or someone holding the door open for me. As I noticed and appreciated these little things, I also reciprocated them more. The more I did for strangers, the happier I felt with myself. The more I took time to reflect on the natural beauties of the world, the more minuscule my heartbreak seemed.

9. Love is magical

Being cheated on left me with some trust issues. Every time I started talking to a new guy I would find something wrong with him, giving me a reason to break it off. I was scared of commitment and scared to get attached again after what happened when I got cheated on. When the right guy comes along I will believe in love. When the right man comes into my life he will prove that love is real not through his words but through his actions. The right man will make love seem effortless and I will know my heart is safe with him and that I can trust him.

10. Time heals everything

You broke me and I didn’t think I would ever heal. But the days turned into weeks, which turned into months and with every passing month I began to heal. I spent time surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. I cried in my mom’s arms and I spent time watching my parent’s marriage. I had girls’ nights with ice cream, popcorn, and chick flicks. Eventually I began going on dates again. I reached a point where I could pass you and the girl you cheated on me with and my world kept on turning because you didn’t have the power to do otherwise anymore.

So, to the boy who cheated on me, thank you.

Thank you for all the lessons you have taught me over the years we’ve spent together. Thank you for leaving me and letting me learn to love myself. Thank you for letting me go so I could find my soulmate and the person who would love me right. Thank you for hurting me so when the right person loved me right, I would know. Thank you for being the best, worst thing to ever happen to me. I wish you years of happiness because I’m no longer angry nor bitter towards you for what happened between us. I hope you too have learned many lessons and grown from your mistakes and that you find someone who loves you right.