Whether you move two hours away or halfway across the country, leaving your hometown can be an extremely meaningful transition. As a wide-eyed, restless and confused high school graduate, I was ready for a change. Now that I have created a life for myself in an entirely different city, I can look back on some of the infinite things I’ve learned while struggling to live independently and be proud of the progress I’ve made so far. Here are some of the less embarrassing lessons I’ve learned after I left my hometown.
I’m a lot smaller than I thought.
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I don’t necessarily mean “insignificant,” but in high school, I knew everyone and everyone knew me. At a large university, in an even larger city, there are people everywhere. Everyone passing me on the street has their own story, their own passions and their own relationships and most of the time, I will never even know what they are.
I can’t please everyone.
At times, it can seem intimidating to know that there are so many other people out there, but it is also empowering. It gives me the ability to make my own decisions and be myself without feeling like I have to impress everyone because I realized there are just too many people to possibly please them all.
I had to go out and find my friends.
In high school, I grew up with my classmates. I didn’t have to actively search for friends or take that first awkward step with relationships. But once I moved to a big city, I felt like I had stepped into a completely different world. If I wanted to make the “lifelong friends” that everyone told me I would make, I’d have to go out and find them.
I had to take chances on people.
I had to take chances on new relationships and on trusting strangers. I may have gotten let down a couple times, but now I have the best friends I’ve ever had. If I wouldn’t have put myself out there, I wouldn’t have these “lifelong friends” that I could only have dreamt of having in high school.
At times, I felt lost.
When I was at home I felt comfortable. I knew who worked at the diner, I knew everyone in the stands on a Friday night football game, and every time I went to the grocery store I would see at least one of my teachers. When I left, I was lost, both figuratively and literally! I had no idea where I was going; instead of music coming through my headphones, it would be my GPS telling me where my 9:55 class was, and I had no idea what to expect from professors or TAs. I also did not know the best places to eat, the cheapest grocery stores, or even how the buses worked!
But leaving my comfort zone is the only way to learn how to adapt to new situations and solve new problems. I may still be somewhat lost but I learned a lot about my new city during those embarrassing and confusing first couple of weeks.
I appreciate time with family so much more.
There were so many things I took for granted when I still lived at home. Besides the free laundry and delicious food, what I especially miss is the quality time I spent with my family. The minute I stepped out of my house, I left behind my support system. It’s way too easy to get caught up in everyday stress and forget who really matter: the people who contributed to my success today.
Unfortunately, now that I’m away from home, I don’t realize how much I miss the unconditional support until I find myself desperate for it. This just makes the times I’m with my family that much more meaningful because I can truly appreciate every minute for what it’s worth.
Not everyone grows up with the same experiences as I did.
Leaving the small town I grew up in allowed me to learn more about others in a way I never had before. It really opened my eyes to how beautifully diverse our world is, and it made me that much more excited to learn about people from all walks of life. When you’re at home, it’s easy to get caught up in the small niche you grew up with, but learning more about other people helped me appreciate my unique childhood.
My past doesn’t define me.
When I left my hometown, I was a blank slate. It was a fresh start, a new opportunity for me to almost recreate my identity if I wanted to. The drama I thought was important in high school has literally no impact on my life now. It doesn’t matter who I was in high school, what mattered was how I chose to represent myself the minute I stepped into the university.
I had the power to start over.
Honestly, I was lost. Who did I even want to be? This newfound power is almost overwhelming, but it’s also incredibly relieving. I didn’t have any stereotypes defining me, no rumors or embarrassing stories for people to talk about behind my back. I was completely free, and as I look back on it that freedom allowed me to just be myself without feeling like I had this high school label stamped on my forehead.
I can now appreciate my hometown.
Although I am completely in love with the city I live in now, I will never forget the lessons my hometown taught me. The good memories, the painful experiences, and the supportive people are what I think of when I think back on where I came from. I can appreciate it from a distance, because it taught me so much about who I was and who I wanted to be when I finally left.
