10. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for YOU.
What’s the point in having people around who don’t value and appreciate you for exactly who you are? The people you choose to be in your life should appreciate every aspect of you, even the weird, sometimes childish, pieces of you. For me, this simply means having friends who will rock out to The Jonas Brothers or Ke$ha for hours when I am sad or just need a good laugh. (Thank you.)
9. Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish.
It is important to love yourself, above anyone else. The truth is that nobody is going to take care of you except for you, so at times that is going to require you to be a little bit selfish. That is okay. Understanding that you’re the only person you need in your life to be happy and successful is going to get you far in life, trust me.
8. Friends over significant others, always.
It’s easy to push friendships aside when you become involved in a romantic relationship, especially in the beginning, but don’t let it continue to a point where your friends no longer have a part in your life. Any relationship that encourages separation from friends is toxic and extremely unhealthy. Just remember that your friends were there for you long before your new partner, and your friends will (hopefully) be there for you long, long after your partner is gone. Just as they sat there in awe during all the little first steps in the relationship (first dates, first kiss, etc), they will be there to hold you while you cry on the bathroom floor when everything falls apart. Do not let them go.
7. Never change yourself for someone else.
It’s tempting to change aspects of yourself when you want to gain approval from other people, whether they are potential friends or romantic partners. But you should never do this because then people aren’t going to love you for who you truly are. It is a privilege for other people to be in your life, so make sure they deserve to be there by truly appreciating your uniqueness and true nature. Never feel ashamed to be exactly who you are, no matter how appealing the approval from that other person may seem. (Again, trust me, you’re better).
6. Live in the now.
I’ve been reading a lot of spiritual books lately, and the most important thing they have taught me is to live in the present moment. It’s so easy, especially for college students, to always be worrying or stressing about the next step or regretting decisions they’ve made in the past. It is important to recognize that all we really have is the present moment; the past was at one time the present, and the future will be the present soon, so just live in the moment and take it all in while you can. It is a much more peaceful way to live; doing so eliminates a lot of negative thought patterns and increases the ability to be content with and accept life as it is.
5. Even the worst days are only 24 hours.
Life is not always easy, there will be incredibly good days where you can’t stop smiling, but with that, there will also be awful days that feel never ending. But, I promise you, the beautiful thing about time is that even the worst days are only 24 hours. Remember, you’re always stronger than you think you are, and if you can live day by day, you’ll be able to better recognize your strength. In the moments of misery, it is hard to think about the good moments that may be hours away…but next time you are having an awful day, I challenge you to think of something that truly makes you happy, and try to turn the “bad day” into just a bad period of time during the day.
4. If someone wants to leave your life, let them.
This is mostly intended for the end of romantic relationships but can apply to friendships as well. The truth is, people are transient in our lives; they come and they go when they no longer fit. Although it is painful, letting go is the only healthy way to move on with your life and search for more permanent, positive people. Remember: You will never have to chase anyone who wants to stay. And anyone who wants to leave you does not deserve a spot in your life, anyway.
3. Give second chances sparingly.
Second chances are often romanticized. For some reason, people seem to be under the impression that the second time around, circumstances will change for the better, and everything will work out. From personal experience, and many, many undeserving second chances later, I can tell you that this rarely is the case. When relationships fail, or people treat you badly, it is easy to remember the good that they once offered you and want that back. This can only be done when you selectively ignore the bad times. Give yourself space and time from people who have hurt you. Be thankful for all of the fun, good memories you had together but also be honest with yourself and recognize the pain and suffering that they have caused as well. If they prove to you (over a period of time) that they are deserving of a second chance, maybe consider it. Maybe. Remember, though, that it is their fault for hurting you once, but if you allow them to hurt you again, that’s completely on you.
2. Always trust your gut.
This took me a while to apply to my own life because it is such a strange concept. There are still times when I am doing something that I rationally and emotionally feel is the right thing to do, but my gut will tell me otherwise. Always trust this feeling. I don’t know how or why it is always right, but your gut is always right, and the more you listen to those warning signs when you’re about to make a decision, the fewer mistakes you will make.
1. You’re not supposed to have everything figured out.
As college students and young adults in our early 20s, it is perfectly normal to not have everything figured out (because nobody actually knows what the hell they’re doing, even if they claim to). There’s so much pressure at this age to know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life, but it is important to recognize how unrealistic that is, for most people. Above all of the life lessons listed in this article, I feel that this is the most important. Life is constantly changing, as are we. The older we become, the more we discover about ourselves, and this makes it impossible to have everything figured out at such a young age. So stop stressing about things that you cannot control in the future, and just focus on making your life better in the moment. Everything will fall into place, and you will wind up exactly where you are meant to be when you are meant to be there, and who you are meant to be then and there with. That’s life.
