"The Office" is one of those TV shows you can watch forever. No matter what's happening in your life or how many times you've seen it, it's iconic. If you haven't watched it by now, I recommend dropping everything and binge watching it until you can't function. Before you know it, the characters feel like family. Each person brings something to the table. You might be a fan of Michael, your classic trouble maker with a big heart. It might be Jim and Pam, the wonder couple. Even poor Toby who is hated just for doing his best. Whoever may be your favorite, only one character really tells it like it is. That is the one and only Dwight Kurt Schrute. Through nine glorious seasons, Dwight is there through it all. He's not just some strange beet farmer, he gives us all vital facts that should always be remembered:
1) "Before I do anything I ask myself “Would an idiot do that?” And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing."
The takeaway message: Always use your common sense.
2) "When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."
The takeaway message: Take advantage of any opportunity where you can gain something. It might be strength from absorbing a fetus or a promotion at your job.
3) "When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in."
The takeaway message: Think ahead. You never know how it will benefit you.
4) "Yes, I have acted before. I was in a production of 'Oklahoma!' in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good."
The takeaway message: Be proud of yourself in whatever you do.
5) "Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones."
The takeaway message: Make sure to give people the credit they deserve. Especially if it's something you're not good at yourself.
6) "Did you know that the human thumb is formed by 15 interchangeable joints? Wrong. Don’t believe everything the people on television tell you."
The takeaway message: Plain and simple, don't believe everything the people on television tell you.
7)" In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is 'Oh, I broke my leg!' A lion comes and eats you, you're dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you're dead!"
The takeaway message: Don't be afraid of the unknown, you can handle it. Also, healthcare isn't available in the wild.
8) "People say, oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace. Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose."
The takeaway message: The people who are closest to you may hurt you.
9) "Why are all these people here? There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague…"
The takeaway message: Again plain and simple, we need a new plague.
10) "The goose was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease."
The takeaway message: Don't be wasteful.
We all need a little Dwight in our lives. If you're ever in a pinch, think back to these important messages brought to you by Dwight K. Schrute.
