I thrive on Christmas. The fuzzy socks, the cheerful music, and all the other yuletide joys somehow give me enough life to get through the following year. One of my favorite parts of Christmas is gift giving. I know what you're thinking, "Christmas isn't about the presents"! And you're right, they're just the whipped cream atop the pumpkin pie that is the holiday season. But for me, humor is the real way to the heart, and so my family and friends have grown to expect not-so-normal gifts from me under their tree. Here's a list of some of my favorite gifts that will make everyone say "Where the hell did you even find this?"
1. The Face Blanket
Called by the Huffington Post "The stupidest product ever", this blanket for your face is perfect for absolutely no situation EVER! Get yours today at https://www.amazon.com/The-Face-Blanket-Royal-Blue...
2. Inflatable Chub Suit
They may not like it at first, but give it a few days, I guarantee they'll refuse to get out of their Chub Suit! Its sure to put a little bounce in anyone's holiday season! Get it here: https://funnygiftsforchristmas.com/product/inflata...
3. Obama Chia Pet
Have a friend who was really sad to see ol' B.O. be replaced? Heal the hurt by giving them their own personal Obama Chia Pet. You can even choose from a variety of poses, including "happy pose" and "determined pose". Get it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001PKU298?m=A1V9XSPT1QB...
4. The Visor-Ganizer
Is your dad's visor not embarrassing enough? Help him spice it up a little more by giving him MORE pockets to store things he doesn't need! Get it here: http://gadgets.fosfor.se/visorganizer/
5. The Peek-A-Roo
This one is perfect for new mothers, allowing them to be close to their babies at all times while also having full use of their hands. The Peek-A-Roo is this years hottest way to embarrass your child, so act fast before they sell out! Get it here: http://www.boba.com/store/peekaru-original
6. A subscription to the Ravioli of the Month Club
This one sounds too good to be true, but I assure you it is no joking matter. With your subscription to the Ravioli of the Month Club, the lucky recipient will receive a new, exciting batch of ravioli every month without fail. It is, indeed, "the gift that keeps on giving the whole year". Get it here: http://www.clubsgalore.com/club/ravioli/
7. Fake Body Parts
The site called "FakeBodyParts.com" is here to fulfill ALL of your fake appendage needs! Choose from a left arm, a right arm, a left leg, or a right leg to wrap up for that special someone! Get them here: http://www.fakebodyparts.com/imitation-rubber-leg/
8. Enrollment in an Online course in Dog Psychology
We've all wondered what our furry friends are thinking, so why not give the gift of knowledge this year and help them answer all our their canine-centered questions! With this rigorous course in Dog Psychology, your friends and family will be forever grateful to you. Buy it here: http://www.opencollege.info/product/dog-psychology...
9. A Pair of Tiny Hands
There is nothing better on Christmas morning than opening this gem of a present: TINY HANDS! Grab a pair for your friends and get a pair for yourself while you're at it! Follow this link: https://www.vat19.com/item/tiny-hands
10. Someone to Stand in Line for You
Line Standing.com knows just how boring standing in line can be, so they have developed a service where you can hire people to stand in lines FOR you! Get it for the avid rollercoaster rider in your life, or maybe for the special person you know who has to go to the DM. Reserve here: http://linestanding.com/
If none of these ideas tickle your fancy, don't fret. The internet is overflowing with uncomfortable things you can spend money on! Happy searching!