What's a Harry Potter Marathon on Freeform without an overanalyzed list?!
In honor of Harry Potter Marathon occurring this past weekend, check out my analysis of the characters and how we've all been them all!
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1.Luna Lovegood: The Blatantly Honest One
Remember that time Luna called out Harry for putting Felix Felicis in Ron’s drink in “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince”?
And that’s why I love Luna. She is blatantly honest, but she doesn’t have any malicious intent.
I can vividly remember one time the inner Luna Lovegood came out in me. I was in Mrs. Morgan’s physical science class. It was test day. My pencil lead was sharp, my palms were sweaty and I was trying to calculate the density of a rolling ball.
It’s ridiculous how stressed I was over those equations and formulas because in reality, I never use those in my everyday life. But, anyway, back to the classroom.
So, I’m calculating my answer when I hear the seventh sniffle issued from a student sitting diagonally from me. I couldn’t take another sniffle. Especially during this test. It was annoying.
So, I pulled a Luna.
“Do you need a Kleenex, Colby?” I asked him.
“No,” was his quick rebuttal.
“Okay, just checking,” I whisper back.
Okay, and maybe that was a little more bitchy than Luna would’ve said it, but hey, I honestly wanted to know if he needed a Kleenex, because I couldn’t focus with all the ‘Nargles’ floating around.
2.Harry Potter: The Center of Attention
The “Chosen One,” he was called, thanks to the infamous Rita Skeeter.
Whether you want it or not, sometimes you’re the center of attention. And sometimes it’s not so good.
I was eating inside of Arby’s one Saturday with my family. I was probably seven. And probably eating chicken strips, because I’m picky.
But what I do for sure remember is what caused me to be the center of attention at this fast-food chain.
I was chewing on an ice block when death flashed before my eyes.
Instead of chewing on the ice, I swallowed a piece whole and it got lodged in my wind pipe.
I sat there wide-eyed, apparently choking to death, when I should’ve realized it’s ice and it would melt.
Nope, I jumped up and made choking motions to my throat.
My dad jumped up and performed the Heimlich maneuver on me. In Arby’s. On a Saturday. FML.
As water droplets emerged from my mouth, the ice slid down my throat, and I was alive.
And the center of attention.
3.Ron Weasley: The Supportive Friend
Ronald Weasley, famously known for being Harry’s best friend. Even when Harry and Ron got into arguments, Ron was still a supportive. For example, remember when Harry’s name was spit out of the Goblet of Fire? And Ron was pissed, because Harry didn’t tell him that he was doing it. But in reality, Harry didn’t put his name in, Mad-Eye Moody did. Ron was livid. But by the completion of the first task, Ron was in the stands, rooting him on.
My inner Ron emerged freshmen year at UTM. I was pledging Chi Omega, and I was starting to get really close with my pledge sisters. I was best friends with my big brother in the ATO fraternity, so he threw me and my pledge class a party to celebrate our pledgeship. Well, y’all know there’s always one in every crowd.
My first semester of college I didn’t drink at all. So, at this party, I was sober. Someone rushes inside the living room screaming, “Ashley’s drunk, Ashley’s drunk!” Sure enough, being the sober one, I wander out and a pledge sister is crawling around in the front yard in a pile of leaves screaming, “Why is there so much sand?!”
An older girl started yelling, and threatening her about kicking her out. At first I was frightened. And pissed at Ashley for doing this at my best friend’s house.
But soon enough, Ron kicked in, and me and a couple other girls took her home and away from the “quicksand.”
4. Hermione Granger: The Know It All
We all know her famous line, “It’s levio-SAH.” And we’ve all been Hermione at some point.
Actually, I feel like I’ve been this most of my life, so no story needed.
5. Draco Malfoy: The Jealous One
Yes, my favorite little slicked-back-blonde-haired villain. I could see the jealousy in his eyes when Harry was gifted with the Firebolt in “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.”
Jealousy poured out of my eyes just last baseball season when a fellow coworker beat me in highest sales.
I always won that competition. To have that taken away for once was mortifying. I couldn’t even clap for my coworker. Hell, I couldn’t manage a smile.
I headed down to the cash office to cash out, and I walked out alone. Once I made it to my car, I turned my radio as high as it would go and cried.
My hair wasn’t slicked back, short and blonde, but I was Draco Malfoy.
6. Dobby: The Sacrificer
Dobby is my favorite Harry Potter character. Most people forget about him because he wasn’t a wizard. He was your typical house-elf who was freed all because of a dirty sock. Even after his freedom, he spent his whole life dedicated to Harry and the cause he was fighting. Again, this story, in no means compares to what Dobby sacrificed, which was his life in the end, but I indeed sacrificed.
As you all know, or may not know, I’m an extremely picky eater. My diet consists of spaghetti, Mountain Dew, salami sandwiches, chips, bagel bites and beer. So, on days that have a certain menu, such as Thanksgiving, it’s an absolute shit show for me.
I’m a 26 year old woman, and I don’t eat turkey. Or green beans. Or yams. Or sweet potatoes. Or stuffing. The only traditional Thanksgiving food I eat is mashed potatoes and rolls.
So here I am, at a boyfriend’s family’s Thanksgiving dinner. With a plethora of non-edible foods in front of me. There weren’t rolls or mashed potatoes.
I can’t look like that five year old that screams if their different food touches on their plate. I have to Dobby-up if you will.
So I took a serving of turkey, doused it with salt, and with the most tormented look on my face, took a bite.
I probably looked like Kreacher at the table.
7.Sirius Black: The Wrongly Accused
Sirius Black was infamously known for being wrongly accused for the death of twelve innocent by standing muggles and the lovely Peter Pettigrew aka Wormtail.
However, we later learn that good ole’ Sirius didn’t commit this heinous crime. Peter Pettigrew did. Sadly, the wizarding world never learned the truth about Sirius Black and his good intentions.
This reminds me of a time when I was six years old, and my brother was four. It was Christmas Day and we were opening gifts.
Do you remember when your grandparents or parents or anyone really would send you a gift that would say, “To ________ and _________?” The blanks meaning you AND your sibling.
So on this particular Christmas, Steven and I had several joint gifts to open. Well when you have the Type A control freak child like I was, my parents made us take turns opening the joint gifts, so that one certain gift hog would take them all.
(This was all recorded on video, and I just watched old home videos, and trust me, the proof is in the pudding.)
Well, sure enough, it was my turn to open a joint gift, and I’m certain it was my turn. I’m a Type A control freak psychopath always wanting to win. How could I lose track?
So I take the neatly wrapped package and begin pulling the paper off.
“No, Lisa, it’s Steven’s turn! You just opened one,” my mom says.
“NO!” I scream as Steven and I tug away at the box.
She lets Steven open it.
Mom, I watched the video. Call me Sirius Tarr.
8.Severus Snape: The Brave One
During the first six “Harry Potter” books, we all hated Snape; I’m sorry, loathed Snape. Then at the very end of the series, he surprised us all with the true meaning of his actions.
He sacrificed himself to help out Harry Potter because he loved Harry’s mother, Lily.
What story I’m about to detail compares on no level to Snape’s, but I had to be brave nonetheless.
Set the scene: Quad City 2011. Quad City is the last Homecoming event during Homecoming Week at UTM. Chi Omega never could seem to beat our rival sorority at this specific event. We typically would win most events or score enough points to get us in first place; however, the winner of Quad City would typically determine the overall winner.
Well this year, being my senior year at UTM, I was determined to win Homecoming Week. The theme was something to do with Las Vegas.So when the judges entered our tent, I was decked out in an Elvis Presley costume. I jumped on the stage in our tent, which was full of sisters, parents I never knew and people I’ve never seen, and rapped.
Yes, you read that correctly. I rapped a Chi Omega rap as Elvis Presley. I was extremely nervous because I had no idea how the judges would react, I was slightly hungover and I had barely rehearsed.
Needless to say, we won Quad City that year. I’m not sure if my performance had any weight on that decision, but I had to pull a Snape, and man up.
Thank you, thank you very much.
9.Ginny Weasley: The Odd Man Out
Ginny is literally the odd man out – she’s the only girl sibling of the Weasley family. She’s also the only Weasley that’s been possessed by Voldemort, but I won’t get into that.
I currently feel like Ginny Weasley at my new job. I’m on a sales team with all older men. I mean older by eight plus years. They all have experience in logistics and sales; then there’s me. The young-ish girl who doesn’t have a clue what logistics means.
However, I won’t let this stop me, just like Ginny didn’t let her brothers stop her from snogging.
Okay, maybe not a good example, here.
10.Neville Longbottom: The Late Bloomer
Well…. Here ya go
..............
Well... I'm still blooming...
