Working in a restaurant is not easy. Being a hostess is quite possibly one of the most annoying jobs. People are hard to please! When you're a hostess, the customers typically give you the hardest time. Yes, I am the reason your mashed potatoes were only lukewarm. My appologies. I'll get right in the kitchen and take care of that for you.
1. People who insist on seating themselves.
You know those people who insist on sitting in one particular spot? They want a booth, so you take them to a booth. No, they want one by the window. OK. You bring them to the third one back, but they insist on sitting at the fifth. That's dirty. OK. Next time I'm just going to hand you a menu and you can go wherever your little heart desires.
2. People who think it's cool to flirt with you.
No, sir. I am not smiling because I want to makeout with you. I am smiling because it is my job to be nice to people, even when they make me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
I once had a man in his 40s ask me if I was in love and with who. When I said "my boyfriend," he got angry and called me a tease and walked out. Another guy once made a comment about my body, and when I smiled awkwardly and mumbled a thank you, he said "you like that baby?" There is a very fine line between being friendly and making you want to soak yourself in bleach, even if they didn't actually touch you.
3. Dealing with complainers.
OK, so you can't actually mimick them going "blah blah blah," but this is what we're all thinking about doing. Do people not understand that you cannot control other people's volume, the smells of different foods mixing together, the wait time if it's busy, etc. Do I look like I can just snap my fingers and make everything just how you want it?
4. "I'm in a rush, can you seat us quickly?"
"I know it's 6:23 and you're busy, but I have somewhere to be by 7:00 so I need to be out of here in 20 minutes." I think I speak for everyone when I say that if you're in that much of a rush, but you're really hungry, go to McDonald's. Or maybe Taco Bell if you're feeling adventurous.
5. "I've got it."
When you see a coworker that frazzled and you try to help them, but they just yell at you and say that they're fine. Even though they're definitely not, but OK.
6. Customers who get touchy feely with you.
But seriously. Why do you feel the need to touch me? Let's keep our hands to ourselves.
7. Spotting an unsupervised child.
Don't you love when there are kids running around, knocking things over and bumping into other customers and when you look over at the parents, they're just sitting there like this? Like, can you please come wrangle your kids before you finish that breadstick?
8. "There's a wait?"
On a Friday night? At 6:00? When most people eat dinner?
9. When your shift is finally over.
This is actually me when I get cut before other coworkers. I just worked a 10 hour shift and have to be back at 7:00 a.m. Bye!
10. When you get home and find some piece of food in your bra.
How did a mushroom get in here? Wait, is that a fry? How does this happen?
