10 Foods That Last Longer Than Brock Turner Did In Jail | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

10 Foods That Last Longer Than Brock Turner Did In Jail

Broccoli not included.

Cara Zimmerman
Sep 11, 2016
Boston University
30
10 Foods That Last Longer Than Brock Turner Did In Jail
Cara Zimmerman

I love food, but I hate rapists.

There is an immense amount of food that lasts longer than Brock Turner did in jail. Some foods have zero expiration date, can go months before rotting and can be stored in the freezer for an extended life. Brock Turner was not like the Halloween candy you found still edible in April after its stay in your pantry. Brock bailed after three months, and these are some foods that last longer than his jail sentence--Broccoli not included.

1. Canned Beans

Beans in the can--no pun intended.

2. Anything from McDonald's

His stay was like a ride through the drive through.

3. Welch's Grape Jelly

Judge Persky: WELCHER.

4. Velveeta Cheese

And he's nacho cheese.

5. Bologna

...where's the beef?

6. Jello

Spineless like Turner. An amoeba.

7. A Potato

8. Anything from a 7-Eleven

We all know 7 goes into 11 more times than he was in jail. Do the math!

9. Beef Jerky

Tougher than his sentence.

10. Pickles

A barrel or a cell; your choice Turner.



No shelf/cell life.



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