When it comes to being an adult, sometimes you find yourself in attendance to a fancy dinner party or some other type of significant event in which you will need to make sure you are exhibiting good manners. Just the thought of having dinner with your significant other's parents for the first time or going to a posh celebration and failing to NOT engagein a food fight; how embarrassing!
Luckily, I grew up in a household with a loving family who taught me these important skills and always exemplified them when we sat down to eat together. If you are currently in such a position, allow me to impart some sage wisdom to you on the do's and don't's of fancy dinners.
1. When it comes to informing the party that the meal is ready, DON'T use an indoor voice
Don't you know? Politely walking to each room and informing whoever is in there that dinner's ready is SO last century.
2. DO unceremoniously shout down the hallway!
"WASH YOUR HANDS AND HURRY UP BECAUSE DINNER IS READY."
3. DON'T wear your Sunday best
Your dinner look can make or break any social event.
4. DO wear your pajamas or be sure to come in whatever state you're in after completing another long day
To demonstrate how comfortable you are with the other diners, show up to the table in your finest covered-with-holes T-shirt and your favorite worn pair of sweatpants. It's all about being yourself!
5. DON'T use your cell phone during dinner
I know this is a satire article and all, but even the most informal of dinners should be spent enjoying each other's company!
6. DO bring out your phone for special circumstances
I'm not saying you should bring your phone to the table with you, but if you're having dinner with your family, it's okay to show them pictures to accompany a conversation point! Plus, after you enjoy a good laugh together, you may want to document the antics and put them on Snapchat to show your friends how hilarious everyone is.
7. DON'T eat your food like an adult
Everything you've been told in the past about keeping your elbows off the table, not slurping your soup, and all those confusing pieces of flatware is a complete LIE.
8. DO eat your food like a three-year-old
Eating chicken strips? Use your hands. Have beggars for pets? Give them a bit of your food that is safe for them if you wish. Have food on your face? Take care of it later!
9. DON'T contain your food to your dish
Plates are really only a suggestion, anyways.
10. DO throw your food at each other
As mentioned before, it is totally acceptable to launch a few peas at each other to show your appreciation for each other. Aiming for faces, beverages, and pockets is all fair game; you have to come out victorious after all!
