Ah, Central Pennsylvania. One of the only places in the world where you can feel entirely split between true and actual farmland and a fast-paced inner city. Where Hershey brings in more tourism and money than the state freakin' capitol. Where each and every town can speak so much about the type of person that lives there and where some of the strangest things happen. Describing this hodgepodge of an area to an outsider is honestly the most difficult thing to do without actually taking them there. That being said, there are so many things that only native Central PA people can ever truly understand, and these are just a few of them...
10. You've only ever dipped your toes into city culture...
Let's be real- Harrisburg may be the capital, but it by no means can be considered a REAL city. Gallivanting down by Midtown or Strawberry Square is the closest thing in Central PA to a "city" experience you could truly have- and even that is nowhere close to traveling to somewhere authentic like New York or Philly...
9. And, going off of that, you're probably more of a hick than you think...
Driving 15 minutes or so out of inner city Harrisburg will place you right in the boonies. Go even further than that and you'll reach towns that have people literally selling possum stew on their front porch (I've seen it with my own eyes). This is so common that you don't even blink an eye when you hear somewhere like Dillsburg has a whole festival dedicated to pickles, or when you see people lose their minds over Luke Bryan...
8. You cannot keep calm about Farm Show...
Anyone and everyone from all walks of life drops their whole livelihood for the week-long Milkshake and Cheese Cube Bonanza- and for good reason. This and this alone is the beacon of light within Harrisburg and is so worth the 30 minutes sitting in traffic and 20 minute shuttle bus ride to get into the packed Farm Show Complex that is otherwise abandoned except for the occasional RV Expo...
7. You have a tainted view of Catholic schools
Growing up witnessing the bad blood between the Catholic high schools and their sports teams (think McDevitt v. Trinity) you more than likely just have the idea that Catholic schoolers are absolute nut cases in matching outfits, and on some level you're not wrong...
6. But let's be real, public schools are no better...
Not pointing fingers, but let's just say the structural differences between, say, Hershey High and somewhere like John Harris is more than just a tad unsettling...
5. You want absolutely nothing to do with politics
Even though we all live in or near it, more often than not we forget that Harrisburg is the capital...until election time that is. Having people shamelessly promoting their cousin's uncle's brother or whoever for State Senate is enough to give everyone a headache, and given that nothing ever gets done, you steer as clear from it as humanly possible.
4. You can tell everything about a person from which town they're from...
Especially if they get way too excited about someone bringing up Penn State in casual conversation...
3. You have a hard time getting excited about chocolate-
If there's one thing we all know for sure, it's that Hershey is FAR from being "The Sweetest Place on Earth" it shamelessly self-promotes as. The claustrophobic streets and the mess that is Chocolate World/Hersheypark during the summer (or Beyonce/Demi Lovato/Paul McCartney concert as this past summer proved) is enough to make anyone physically ill at the phrase "Hersheypark Happy"...
2. Your friends are confused about your upbringing...
I've found that having stories about crazy things that happen in inner city Harrisburg and then wild redneck-esque shenanigans up by Penn State or Perry County is vastly difficult to try to convey to most people who aren't familiar with the area.
1. But ultimately you have the best stories...
I could go on about the nutty things that happen in the 717 for days, and even though it was a wild ride I certainly wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world...
