I’ve been working at the same movie theater for going on five years. My co-workers are nice and so much fun to be around, and our managers are pretty great, too. The one thing that never ceases to amaze me, though, are the different types of customers that I deal with on a regular basis.

1. The older couple

They come in thinking popcorn is still in a bucket. My favorite thing about older moviegoers is when they freak out about how expensive the popcorn and drinks are. What really catches me off-guard is when you’re polite, and they just aren't the nice little old couple that you'd expect them to be.

2. The Regular Joe

At our theater, we have a lot of these. They come and order the exact same thing every time. There’s no point in up-selling or suggestive-selling to them, because they know all the employees, managers, and sale tactics very well.

3. The unattended minors

Okay, I know that some people go to different movies than their children. ATTENTION PARENTS: the movies are not a babysitter for your kids, so please don’t drop them off for five hours. Not surprisingly, half of the time these kids don’t know how to behave and end up getting in trouble from management for movie hopping.

4. The person that still doesn’t know what they want

This person is one of the most dreaded customers. They stand in line for a good ten minutes, and when it’s time for them to order, I still hear, “Uhh, umm, I don’t know what I want yet.” You mean to tell me that all that head nodding that you and your spouse did meant you agreed on something, but somehow when you get to my register, you forget what y’all just talked about? Oh, okay then...

5. The alcoholic

Yeah, you read that right. I’ve smelt the alcohol rolling off their breath, and it catches me off guard. It really doesn’t help that they’re slurring their speech a tad bit too. One time I witnessed one put popcorn butter on his plain nacho chips…I’ll just end with that.

6. The one that can’t read or comprehend the obvious

When we close down the concession stand, we put a sign up that says “CLOSED: please visit Café to purchase your items.” You wouldn’t believe the amount of people that come up and ask if we’re still open, even when they see that sign, the lack of popcorn in the popper, the extinguished lights, and the mops in our hands. I’m still trying to figure out why they would assume that we would still be open.

7. The customer that complains and still buys

Yeah, I know the movies are expensive, but you don’t have to complain multiple times then still decide to buy the most expensive things. There’s a dollar store and a Wal-Mart across the street. You can smuggle in some candy instead of complaining to me that it’s “highway robbery” when you have to pay $4.00 for a box. We don’t make much on tickets, which is why concession items are so expensive.

8. The customer that catches an attitude

You know at certain jobs there are things you are required to do. At the movie theater, I have to up-sell and suggestive-sell, IT’S MY JOB. Don’t catch an attitude when I’m doing my job and don’t cut me off either, thank you.

9. The customer that tries to tell you how to do your job

I’m so sorry that I can’t punch all thirty items you told me you wanted at once. I make mistakes becasue I’m human. If I accidentally bring you plain M&M’s and you wanted peanut, just tell me what you really wanted. When I apologize and say, “I’m sorry, let me change that for you,” you have no reason to tell me, “Yeah, you should be sorry, and if you don’t like your job maybe you should go to college and get a degree.” (Yes, I had a woman tell me that, and I would just like to let her know that I’m pursing a Dental Hygiene degree, which is why I’m working -- to pay for school.)

10. The nice ones

These customers are the special gems that brighten your day. These people know what they want to order, don’t complain, and don’t have an attitude. Sometimes they’ll even give you a tip or let you keep their change. These customers are my favorite!