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10 Conversations I Don't Want To Have On Thursday

And I'm sure you don't either.

Jade DeArmond

Nov 21, 2016

Henderson State University

10 Conversations I Don't Want To Have On Thursday

Rocky Hill Exeter

Hopefully, you'll be with family on Thanksgiving day. You have to love them, but sometimes they can bring up subjects you'd rather not discuss. This might be because you know you won't agree, or possibly because it's just taboo. Either way, here are some typical conversations I expect to hear about.

1. Have you found a man yet?

Yeah, no. Sorry to disappoint. No, my standards aren't too high. It will happen when it happens.

2. What do you think about the election?

I have a lot of thoughts. Number one being disappointed in America. No, that doesn't mean I voted for Hillary Clinton, calm down. Yes, I know Jesus is in control.

3. How are your grades?

Don't ask unless you want me to be honest. I will cry.

4. What are gonna do after you graduate?

Refer to answer #3.

5. Do you have a job?

Yes, I do. I'm sorry you don't think it's a 'real one.

6. Are you really going to eat all that?

YES I AM. Please send me home with leftovers. I am but a poor college kid.

7. Did you hear about your cousin?

The one who is in jail for the fourth time? Yes, and I'm curious as to why you keep bailing him out. (don't actually say that last part).

8. Do you remember when *insert horrifying childhood memory*?

OH LORT PLEASE NO.

9. What kind of an outfit is that?

Why, do you want to borrow it?

10. Shouldn't you be over there with the kids?

I am literally 20 years old.

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10 Conversations I Don't Want To Have On Thursday

And I'm sure you don't either.

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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