For some reason there seems to be a problem with the compliments that women are receiving lately, the problem is that they are in fact not really compliments. More often than not, a compliment is backhanded or is supporting the oppression of girls in some way. This is just a small list of generic compliments that my friends and I have heard before. This list is also not just from men that were trying to hit on us, but also from friends and family that may have had our best interest in mind but worded it the wrong way. Complimenting a person really is not too hard, it is just over complicated by most people. So here is my list of those compliments that just aren’t appreciated...at all.
1. “You look really nice today!”
This one is really the least of them because many times it really is meant to be a nice straight-forward compliment. But then they add the very obvious today at the end that makes you wonder...did I look bad yesterday? Are you making this comment to make it sound as though I actually tried (we’ll get the word actually) today and don’t look this good usually?
2. Any comment with the word actually
This is really just annoying because it makes the compliment usually backhanded. “Oh, you’re actually pretty, you’re actually funny..” I don’t know about you but none of those make me want to say thank you, they seem a little backhanded. You should be able to give a compliment without making the person second guess themselves.
3. You’re really pretty for a _____ girl!” (insert race, size, hair cut, etc.)
This is really annoying because it is using all those stupid stereotypes of what a black/white, skinny/chubby, girly/tomboy. No one wants me to told that they are pretty just because they look better than you expected their set label to look like. It is rude to compare a person just because they have the same colored skin or body type. Being beautiful should not be comparison or competition.
4. “You look prettier without makeup”
When you see a girl with makeup on, she probably put a lot of time, effort, work, and money into what you see on her face. She also probably takes a lot of pride in her skill and feels beautiful with it on. It does not make her feel better to say she looks better without it, that is not the point, it is not the point to tear down what she worked hard one. The point is to recognize the work she put in and respect it.
5. Nice tits/boobs/rack/a**/butt!!”
This should be quite obvious. At least personally, I hope that my body is not the only thing a man sees in me. So when a guy thinks that it is appropriate to only comment on my ‘rack’ it makes me think that he is only interested in my body and sex. Although some people are only looking for that, when I expect a compliment I expect a real compliment.
6. “You have a great body….” (which is usually followed by “but your face…”)
This ‘compliment’ is also known as the nickname, “Butterface”. This name was created for girls who have a ‘perfect’ body but their face is not as appealing. This nickname is just a whole nother rant for another day, but this is supposed to be a compliment to women. Not really sure how someone basically saying you are ugly, except your body, is a compliment to anyone.
7. “You would be really pretty if…”
This always is followed by ways to change your appearance or personality to fit the mold that the man wants. I understand that there is always things about people that you wish could change, but those are not things that you bring up when you are trying to give a compliment. If there is someone new that is trying to get on my good side, (especially one who wants a chance for a date) I would rather they didn’t say, “you would be really pretty if you lost weight or didn’t wear glasses”.
8. “I don’t usually go for girls like you but…”
For some men they believe that this is a compliment, to compare you to past relationships and the girls in said relationships. I am so tired of this concept. I am not competing with other girls, I want all of us to win, I want us all to find happiness. Not for men to constantly compare and make it into a war. Also, this statement makes the girl wonder if they are good enough, if the guy thinks they are downgrading, or if this is even a good thing that you are trying something ‘new’.
9. “Oh you seem experienced…”
FOR REAL. This is basically a way of calling a girl some really bad names. I don’t understand why men think this is a compliment, that a girl wants to hear that you think they have been ‘around the block’. This is not the way to give a compliment to a girl. This is the way to insult and offend a girl that you thought you could get a date with.
10.“You’re too pretty to be single!”
This is supposed to be a big compliment to girls (this one usually coming from family and friends not guys) but when said the wrong way, it can be taken as an insult. One of the things that I have never understood is why girls think they always need a man. This statement is just another support to that belief, that any girl that is actually good looking can not be single and independent. You can give a compliment saying that a girl is pretty without making her feel obligated to have a man.
