So the antidote to pretty much anything that ails you is: connection with others. You know the last thing I want when I'm frustrated, lonely, and feeling in any way unlovable? Connect with others. It's ironic, but it's true.
So I'm not depressed, but if people want to know how I'm honestly feeling I'll tell you the truth--I'm mildly miserable. Which means misery colors my life. Have you ever heard the phrase rose colored glasses? Well, right now I'm wearing shades that make all the world look gray, even when it's not. Which means I have happy or joyful moments, but sometimes I look back on things from just a few days ago; I look back and only see what I struggled with.
I know that naturally, this means I want to withdraw from God, people in general, and those I love most. I find it very hard to tell people that I need them, and when people aren't making efforts to reach out to me, I decide reaching out to them would be worthless. I forget that some friends just need me to make that first connection and after that, they will step up and meet me halfway.
So I just really want to encourage those 20 somethings out their who are also mildly miserable. Whether it's from a job, school, a relationship, or something within them, it's okay and please make those efforts to reach out to people. Here are the 10 Commandments of Connecting with Others when Misery Sets In
1. Text people first
2. Don't smile and say you're fine (or worse, that you're great) when people ask.
3. Tell those people close to you that life and things feel really crappy even though you feel like you should be able to suck it up and be over it.
4. Keep praying even though your lonely cries feel hollow and empty even to you, I promise you God is listening and loves you wholeheartedly and wildly no matter how it might feel.
5. Choose a friend who has shown time and time again that they care for you and make a date with them and let them know how they can love you in the space you are in right now.
6. Don't be afraid to cry in front of others, especially those who have shown they are trustworthy.
7. Keep choosing to be open and vulnerable even if your heart gets a little wrecked by it some of the times.
8. Say yes to new opportunities to connect with people
(go to that book club you've been nervous to go to!).
9. When no one's inviting you out, put something together and invite others to join you.
10. Assume best intentions, sometimes people don't care, but more often than not they just get busy, distracted, or forgetful.
I'm working on doing all these things in my life and things are still hard, especially around my job, but the burden is getting lighter. The skies are getting a bit less gray and I'm hoping that eventually I'll not only find that old happiness, but consistent hope, joy, and love by connecting with God and loved ones.
