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The 10 Commandments Of Being The Ultimate College Roommate

Thou shall abide by these rules or else...

Jenna Pizzi

Nov 27, 2017

National Writers Society

1372

The 10 Commandments Of Being The Ultimate College Roommate

Jenna Pizzi

No one ever told you how to be the perfect roommate... until now. Here are just some things to remember when you have to share a room with someone else. No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it's totally doable. Just remember that you'll have to wake up to them every morning so it might as well be a face that you're happy to see.

1. Thou shall not wake the other roommate up while trying to get ready for an 8 a.m.

If I get woken up from a deep sleep because I hear you opening and closing your drawers, we might have a problem.

2. Thou shall not leave a mountain of clothes all over the room to the point where we can't see the floor.

Don't get me wrong, I love your wardrobe. But, if they aren't on my body then I don't want to see them all over the floor. They might get wrinkled when I want to wear them, and we don't want that.

3. Thou shall not wake me up from a nap.

4. Thou shall only wake me up if we are getting food.

If you leave to get food without me you better believe the door will be deadbolted, and you will be locked out until I decide to let you in. Love you though!

5. Thou shall listen to me vent about a class/teacher even if you don't care

Part of your responsibilities as a roommate is to let me vent to you. The other part is to tell me I'm right even if I'm not just to make me feel better.

"I can't believe she failed me on this test!" "Well did you study?" "No." "How dare she..."

6. Thou shall cheer me up when I am homesick.

Maybe a nice pep talk or some ice cream will do the trick.

7. Thou shall drag me to the gym even when I don't want to go.

We are supposed to motivate each other to live a healthy lifestyle even if it means going to the gym and eating a celery stick once in a while.

8. Thou shall share your snacks with me.

If you're eating it, the chances that I want it too are very high.

9. Thou shall help me pick out my outfits.

Please just save me the stress and tell me what to wear. I'm just too lazy, and you do it better.

10. Thou shall be my best friend.

The fact that you can stand living with me is just the foundation of a lifelong friend. Love you forever roomie!

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The 10 Commandments Of Being The Ultimate College Roommate

Thou shall abide by these rules or else...

1. Thou shall not wake the other roommate up while trying to get ready for an 8 a.m.

2. Thou shall not leave a mountain of clothes all over the room to the point where we can't see the floor.

3. Thou shall not wake me up from a nap.

4. Thou shall only wake me up if we are getting food.

5. Thou shall listen to me vent about a class/teacher even if you don't care

6. Thou shall cheer me up when I am homesick.

7. Thou shall drag me to the gym even when I don't want to go.

8. Thou shall share your snacks with me.

9. Thou shall help me pick out my outfits.

10. Thou shall be my best friend.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!