1. Everyone should learn sign language. It's so handy!

2. The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite, so he went back 4 seconds.

3. I bought a sheep and named it relation. Now I can finally say that I have a relationsheep!

4. I started a band called 1,024 Megabytes. But I'm kind of sad. We haven't gotten a gig yet.

5. My friend likes to eat yogurt at art exhibits. One day, I finally asked him why and he said to me, "Because it's cultured!"

6. I know how to make holy water. You just boil the hell out of it. Right?

7. Two antennae met on a rooftop and fell in love. They got married. The ceremony was pretty nice, but the reception was fantastic!

8. If seagulls flew over bays instead of seas, would we call them bagels?

9. What do you call a nose with no body? Nobody knows!

10. Do you know why skeletons are so calm? It's because nothing gets under their skin!

And well, I was going to make a joke here about unemployed people. But, you know, they never work.