I'll admit it, I love Buzzfeed. I always find myself scrolling through the website at unreasonable hours of the night instead of getting a good night's sleep. Most of the time, the quizzes on the site are cute, entertaining, and can give some insight to your personality or lifestyle preferences. Maybe I love Buzzfeed because it has taught me that I'm similar to the Disney princess Belle, I would most likely be sorted into Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, and Justin Bieber is my most compatible mate. However, sometimes the results I get on these "quizzes" make me roll my eyes so hard that I can see the inner mechanisms of my brain. Here are some examples of real Buzzfeed quizzes that should never, ever be taken:
1. "Build a Subway sandwich and we'll guess your exact age and height."
Buzzfeed thinks I'm 28 years old and 5'9". I'm actually 18 and 4'11"... but nice try?
2. "Get your ears pierced at Claire's and we'll tell you when you'll fall in love!"
Choosing if I want Ava to pierce my lobe or cartilage has nothing to do with when I’ll find my soul mate. My result “in the next 5 years” is so vague that the quiz wasn’t even necessary. Next!
3. "Answer seven questions and we'll reveal what color fidget spinner you are."
Don't even get me started on the fidget spinner craze. My result, "the green fidget spinner" is evidently a symbol of hope and peace. How that relates to me picking Chris Hemsworth over Chris Evens? I have no idea.
4. "Pick nine of your favorite musicians and we'll reveal how old you'll be when you get married."
My result declared I'll be 35. Wait... doesn't that contradict the answer I got to the ear piercing quiz??
5. "We know which college program you should apply to based on your Zodiac sign."
According to Buzzfeed, every single Virgo in the world should major in Computer Science. Not this one!!
6. "Plan an Instagram-worthy outfit to get a compliment."
I honestly don't need a website to boost my self-esteem, but thanks for the kindness, Buzzfeed. (P.S... you said I was a great listener, but I would consider myself more of a talker.)
7. "Shop at Forever 21 and we'll tell you what to name your first kid."
Umm... I think my choice of the cut-off jeans has no correlation to the name of my future child. I never planned on naming my child "Piper," anyway.
8. "Design a Fourth of July BBQ and we'll tell you which Founding Father you are."
Well, since Thomas Jefferson owned slaves... I'm probably not like him. Next!
9. "Create your ideal ice cream cone and we'll guess your Zodiac sign."
I guess the cookies and cream flavor determined I truly am a Sagittarius at heart. I guess I really wasn't born in September?
10. "This simple quiz will reveal whether you're ready to have anal sex tonight."
I refuse to take this quiz. But good luck, if you do.
Tell me your favorite insane Buzzfeed quiz in the comments!
