10 Things To Avoid Saying To Your Fat Friend | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

10 Things To Avoid Saying To Your Fat Friend

Fat bodies are glorious bodies, so why is this so difficult to understand?

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10 Things To Avoid Saying To Your Fat Friend

*disclaimer* These were collected from a group of one body-type. This in no way is to shame other people across the spectrum; this is to solely discuss 1 specific body-type. All bodies are beautiful bodies, please stop telling people otherwise.


1. Wow you have a beautiful face... (for a fat person)

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Just because you may not be attracted to fat-bodied individuals does NOT mean that they aren't beautiful. Avoid making this comment, it's rude as hell, unnecessary to boot, and creates an air that you believe you're better than us (this most likely isn't the case, but it isn't always about what you say more as it's about how it's perceived or how you say it). Don't be that person, ok?

2. I feel so fat today

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We know - every single human has things about themselves that they don't like. Body diphoria is quite common, so please understand that we know you're insecure too... but take your audience into consideration. “I feel so fat today," can indeed be incredibly rude if you are, in fact, saying it to your fat friend.

Whether or not you meant it that way is moot, please stop using our fat to insult yourself because you're insulting us too - DO NOT DO IT.

3. You just need to love yourself

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I.... I don't even know how to respond to this. I do love myself? Being fat doesn't mean I don't... like... where did you come up with this?

I admit, there's a vast population of individuals, throughout the body spectrum that don't love themselves and sure - maybe it's because they don't like their bodies, but don't assume that is the issue - plus we might be 100% comfy and totally in love with ourselves.

4. Maybe if you exercised more?

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Do not, under any circumstance, assume that you know what's going on in a fat persons life. Unless you're their personal doctor, you have no say in the matter.

Fat people work out too, as surprising as that seems to people.

5. Dates are mean, they just don't see your inner-self

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Dating is the worst - this is coming from personal experience alone, but don't assume that our outer selves are not good enough that a date needs to see the “inner-self." I assure you there's going to be assholes no matter what your body looks like or who you are.

We know your intentions are good, but phrasing is important.

6. Are you sure you want to wear that?

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YES SUSAN, I AM SURE. First of all - rock whatever the FUCK you want. It is not your place to tell someone else how they should or should not dress. Their body, their choice - if you don't like it... too bad.

7. You can't have an eating disorder

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I... can't?

The definition of an eating disorder - any range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits.

The DSM-5 outlines the different forms of eating disorders (pica, rumination disorder, avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa & binge-eating disorder). No where does it say that you have to be a specific size to have these eating disorders. It is a psychological disorder. PSYCHOLOGICAL

Let me whole-heartedly spell this out: BODY SHAPE AND EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT SYNONOMOUS.

8. You'd be more attractive if *insert words*

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Funny thing, our goals in life do not include trying to be more attractive to you. We get it, that you don't think we're attractive, but that doesn't mean we need to bend and break ourselves just so we can fit into this fantasy of what beautiful is.

You'd be more attractive if you didn't make asinine comments, but we won't talk about that 🤷🏼

9. Buying clothes is so hard, there's never anything good to get

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I don't disagree with you, but do you know that they really didn't produce quality clothes for younger (or even middle-aged) fat women until the late 90's early 00's? We basically had stripes and other forms of nautical nonsense. I'm not saying that buying clothing isn't a pain in the ass, trust me I know - but the general population has more options than we ever did.

Thank god they have opened their eyes and put more amazing opportunities out there, albeit expensive. Again, remember your audience.

10. They're so fat, but you're not - you're beautiful

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Excuse me?

Do NOT insult another person for being what apparently is disgustingly fat to you, and then magically think your fat friend didn't catch the fact that you were being incredibly fatphobic and rude as fuck about them.

It's cruel, unappreciated, and mostly just awful. It doesn't even matter if the person you just called fat is your worst enemy, love your friend enough to not insult people based on what they look like. As a decent human, you shouldn't do that in general - but we all have faults.


*These were collected from real individuals who have, in fact, had these things said to them.*

Everyone deserves the right to be in their skin - not to be judged or ridiculed. All bodies are glorious, so let the damn diamonds SHINE.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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