I don't really know how to talk about my religion. I feel like it's a part of me that I keep hidden, like I can't explain to my friends how much it means to me. Religion is not just this "thing I chose", it's embedded in my Colombian culture, and my entire family. Even as I'm typing this it doesn't seem to do justice, as to how significant religion is in my life. My entire life has revolved around religion, catholic elementary school, first communion, I even pursued a higher education at a catholic university damn it.
I realized that I used to come from a place of superiority, and I used to think I was better because I was more loving and accepting than others. I mean, part of the reason I was so excited when Val wanted to start a women's ministry at our school, was because it was an opportunity to talk about religion. Finally a place that I can be comfortable enough to talk to other people about religion, and growing up in a religious household; without being judged for drinking, having sex, and cussing all the time.
1. Religious/spiritual people are judgmental
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
We ARE NOT supposed to be judgemental. We are not supposed to judge others when it comes to: sexuality, abortion, religion, culture, and lifestyle. My interpretation of the Bible has always taught me to be loving and compassionate towards others, especially those that are different than me. I'm supposed to love my neighbors. I'm supposed to always understand where someone else is coming from and not judge, no matter how they chose to live their lives. I think that religion gets a bad reputation, because most people that identify with religion might be religious because:
1. their family is religious and they're supposed to continue the tradition.
2. they are desperate and cling to religion for guidance, especially during difficult times.
3. they think it's what society expects them to be.
4. they think it's cool, and has "pick me mentality".
Yes, most stereotypical religious people seem judgmental, but that's because we are humans, and we also have shitty people in religious leadership roles. It's easier to preach why you're a bad person if you sin, then it is to explain that just because you do one, two, or three bad things; it doesn't make you whole heartedly bad. People are not supposed to be one dimensional, we are complex.
Just because I like to volunteer, it doesn't mean I'm a saint. It's easier to believe that people are bad, and it's harder to love them and accept all of their flaws. How many times have you heard that people with tattoos are bad? I personally think that the religious or spiritual people most of us encounter are "judgemental" because the fakers are usually the loudest. One person is not representative of the whole group.
2. Religious people don't sin
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
My interpretation form the Bible is that, the moment Adam and Eve ate the apple, all of humanity sinned. The moment you are conceived you're a sin. Do you think that saving sex until marriage means you haven't sinned? Because I'm sorry to break it to you. The moment you are born, you are a sin.
You can go your entire life not sinning. Perhaps you've never lied, or a million other things you've done correctly. It's not entirely about sinning or not sinning, but it's also about admitting and owning up to your actions. For some reason, humans are really good at deceiving themselves, and not being honest with themselves, especially when doing something that they are not supposed to. We are so ashamed to be bad/evil that we all compartmentalize anything bad we've ever done and pretend it never happened. If you want to stop seeing your actions as shameful... (click on the link for an amazing podcast).
At the end of the day God doesn't give a shit how many sins we have, because it's not a contest. It's about what drove us to desperation, and if we've learned from it and if we truly regret it, and if we don't that's okay too, but we need to be honest.
We get so caught up in what someone else is doing and their sins, that we don't realize our own. And perhaps we don't want to focus on our own.
This makes me think of The Strangerby Albert Camus. I haven't read it since high school, but I do remember this: a guy was sentenced to death because he did not feel any remorse for killing another man. His trial focused on his lack of empathy/remorse and failure to act the way society wanted him to act, and I think that's very important.
We don't have to act the way "religion" expects us too. The one true savior is not among us. There are many interpreters among us, but they are just that, interpreters. We can't take what they say or preach at face value. We have to interpret their interpretation. In all aspects of our lives we've been taught to take what people say with a grain of salt, and then adjust it to our individual needs and views. This is no different.
3. Religious/spiritual people always go to church/mass
The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man.
For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."
I grew up in Colombia, so that meant that every single Sunday I would go to mass, no excuses. My birthday is on a Sunday? You bet I was there at 7 am. Now that I'm older I've learned a couple dozen things, and one of them being that you don't need to go to mass/church or anything to the point where if you don't go, it stresses you out.
You should want to go to mass. You should want to practice your faith. You shouldn't feel like you have to. I've been around people who are so anxious and caught up about going to mass every Sunday, or having Bible study every Wednesday, and it's overwhelming. Once societal anxiety bleeds into my religion, it's very difficult for me to enjoy it.
Again, we think that to be a "good follower", we must do all these things, but it's not true; just as the opposite is not true. Do you think that just because you check off a list, that you are now a saint? No. You are a good Christian, even if you don't go to mass on Sundays. You don't need mass to practice your faith. All you need is a podcast, your living room and your pjs. There are a million and one ways to do this, and do not be tempted by others to define what is right for you. Maybe going to mass isn't feasible right now, perhaps you can't rationalize spending $10 on gas this week. Don't stress yourself out. I'm not saying do not go to mass, I'm just saying to learn to identify when you want and need to go, versus going when you "think" that going will signal to others or deceive yourself into believing something you are not.
4. Religious/spiritual people are uptight
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
We all know that "one person" who is way too uptight and never seems to have fun. The truth is, most religious people love to enjoy life. Sometimes, I think it's the way religion was set up, that it attracted a certain type of people. I'm not going to deny all the bad aspects of religion or faith, but just like any other profession or group, it has it's good and bad.
There are people that abuse children that identify with religion, and there are also people that embezzle. Just like there are lawyers that malpractice, and doctors that are drinking on the job, religion has its crooks. I do think that religious and spiritual groups have a lot of people that are "uptight", because the main focus is restrain. You're supposed to restrain from sex, alcohol, and anything deemed "bad", but they don't fully explain why.
Yes, they say pregnancy, and STIs, and blah blah. But the real reason is that the longer you "restrain", there's a part of you that won't mature until you do. Restrain is a double edge sword. By not giving in to those "bad things", you are in a sense powerless. Always steering from the things you "think are bad". But they are only bad in excess.
It's like candy. Some people have no self control with candy, so they tell you to avoid it. The truth is, by not having it, it's not going to teach you how to behave when you have it. You still need to learn how to moderately have "candy", and avoiding it is like putting a ban-aid on a broken mirror.
5. Religious/spiritual people are hypocrites
So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
Yes, it's easy to see religious people as hypocrites, but to be fair, about 80% of our population are hypocrites, so that leaves like very little wiggle room. At this point, it sounds like I keep repeating "but not all religious...". I honestly think that it comes down to holding religious or spiritual people at a different standard than others.
Like you never meet an atheist and think, "damn for a non-believers he's such a good person, like he volunteers and blah blah". But how come the moment you meet a spiritual person it's easier to point out what they are doing wrong? It's just the way we are wired to have bias. We expect religious people to be these stereotypes, which is why I know that my friends and I avoid talking about our religion.
My freshmen year I had the biggest crush on this guy, let's call him Greece. Greece and I got along really well. Our anxieties were very similar. I helped him try to quit smoking so I took his cigs. The next day he's out drinking at Kelly's and he calls me.Then shit gets real and he asks me:
"Do you believe in God? Like when you pray do you think someone's listening to you, because I don't. If there really is a God why is my life so fucked up?".
I didn't even get a chance to think, I just reacted. Of course there's a God. Every time I pray I know He's listening. I told Greece to come over and that sometimes people go through tough shit, so they can fix the world. Some people go through the worse hell, and it's a miracle on it's own that they survive it to tell their story.
6. Religious/spiritual people only hang out with their own kind
Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
Again, not entirely true. Full disclosure though, going to school in Chicago made me realize that a lot of people subconsciously won't marry outside their religion, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
McKenna and I met in Israel, and no surprise here, we bonded because we both low-key crush on Jewish guys. Honestly, something about their religion just raises them right. McKenna and I always joke around about, "can't wait to convert", hehe haha. At this point if you're cringing, I'm not sorry.
The point I'm trying to make it's that, it's easier to hang out with people that are like you. It's easier to hang out with people that are religious, because they know when I'm struggling and when I just need to pray. I can be vulnerable and not feel like they are judging me.
It's.
Just.
Easier.
7. Religious/spiritual people just want to convert you
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
As a Roman Catholic, there were two important moments in my faith: the day I went to Vatican City and listen to a mass by the Pope, and going to the Jordan River in Israel. I felt the strongest attachment to my faith, and I started crying when I was listen to the Pope. His sermon was about hypocrisy. About how many of us check off a list, and pretend to be followers of faith. A truly follower doesn't hate others, doesn't treat others with anything less than love. And I'm guilty.
I hate on insecure girls, because they always have to be the center of attention. I hate on people that try way too hard at parties, I'm a hypocrite. So yeah sometimes I want to bring my friends to mass, but it's not because I want to convert you; it's because I want to show you a side of me that defines my entire being, and I don't really know how to show you with words, so I show you by bringing you to mass.
I do know some people do go overboard. They want to convert their friends. Don't take it personal, sometimes it's easier if your friends do the things you do.
8. Religious/spiritual people are all Republicans
Thus says the Lord: Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widow, nor shed innocent blood in this place. For if you will indeed obey this word, then there shall enter the gates of this house kings who sit on the throne of David, riding in chariots and on horses, they and their servants and their people. But if you will not obey these words, I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that this house shall become a desolation.
Full disclosure, I did grow up in an extremely conservative town. Socially I'm liberal, and economically I am conservative. In this generation, caring about the environment and equal rights makes you a "liberal", which I never really thought I was, but shit, I guess I am.
There are religious and spiritual people that are not republicans. Honestly, there's so much running through my mind right now that I could write 10 articles. Being a "republican" in these times somehow means being: racist, homophobic, and a Trump supporter. Which I think it's trash, because before Trump I was a republican, and now I don't want to be associated with that term, so I'm just going to leave this at this before I write an entire encyclopedia.
9. Religious/spiritual people think they are superior
Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
At this point, I've come to realize that there are the stereotypes of religious people and then there's the underground culture of religion and spirituality. The type of spiritual people that just mind their own business and don't need to brag to others about how "saved" they are, ya know?
I do think that most religious people do come off as superior because they're choosing a different route, and aren't fully committed. They're choosing to live a life of constantly having to chose the moral high way, and that sometimes can be exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone shitty behavior towards others just because you're religious, AND it is still not okay for people to belittle others; I'm just explaining the rationale.
10. Religious/spiritual people are brainwashed
I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I rejoice because of you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.
In recent years our country has been more divided than ever before. You can blame political leaders all you want, but I think the fault is us. As a whole, we have failed to educate our masses. We have allowed ourselves to be divided. Maybe we are not as educated as we think we are. Maybe we're all just fucking idiots, I mean both sexes still don't know how female orgasms work so...
What's the difference between a liberal judging a conservative and conservative judging a liberal? Nothing. There's no difference, one is no better than the other because they are both being petty and judging. Just because you don't believe doesn't men people are brainwashed. Again, take it with a grain of salt. Don't take everything I say whole heartedly, digest it first.
I feel like religion gets a bad rep for multiple reasons. First is that people that are religious are condescending asf. They think that because they live this righteous life they now get to judge people, like bitch sit down only God can do that. Growing up Catholic has made me realize how easy it is to think you are superior. I mean the whole bases of our religion is to separate from the rest and live a virtuous life, but just because we chose to follow this path it doesn't mean that people that don't follow it too are less than us; and that's were religion bothers me.
I've grown up Catholic asf and I hate how religious people get the wrong stereotype just because the posers are so much louder than the genuine Catholics. I've realized that people like me, who are religious and accepting of others are less likely to speak up because when you truly live by something, you no longer need to over-compensate by speaking about it. I want to take this time to call out all religious people that don't speak up about their religion, because we've allowed the toxic shitty people give us a bad name. There are shitty religious people like in any other group, but there are also amazing religious people.
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