Survival Guide for the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse! | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Halloween

Your Go-To Guide To Surviving The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

Hide your kids! Hide your wives! And hide your brains, cuz they'z eatin' everybody out here!

27
Your Go-To Guide To Surviving The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

If the current state of the world and "American Horror Story" has taught us anything this October, it is that DOOMSDAY is upon us, and I am NOT talking about the Superman villain (though that would be pretty cool)! The Apocalypse is a-comin' and you know what that means? ZOMBIES.

So, when the undead come knocking at your door looking for sustenance on your fleshy gooey knowledge meat, you need to be prepared.

SO, HEED MY WORDS, PEOPLE… AGAIN! YOUR LIVES MAY DEPEND ON IT… AGAIN!

 Know the enemy!

Time for all of those hours studying in college for good! To even attempt surviving the impending doom that is approaching, you must understand everything ZOMBIE. Books, movies, TV, video games, THE INTERNET! LEARN PEOPLE!!!

 Put your guard up!   

Surviving the end of the world means putting up a strong defense, so you must have a sturdy base camp. Lock and barricade all potential entrances, BUT not before raiding the local markets for food, medical supplies, tools and other resources for an effective bunker (bring coupons)!

  Prepare for mobility!

Though base camps are a great idea, there is always a solid chance that you will need to move around, especially when supplies are low. For this, you will most likely be traveling on foot, therefore, you need to have proper attire — protective, long-sleeve shirts and long pants that do not inhibit movement, and the best running shoes you can find.

BONUS: If you can get a car, BEEF IT UP! Be careful with bicycles and motorbikes. And lastly… tanks and helicopters always win, just saying. (BUT FUEL THOUGH)!

 Tool Up!

To fight and thusly kill the undead "Zambies," you'll need to shop smart. Firearms are useful, but bullets run out. However, you will NEVER run out of blade or other bashers! (Well, unless they break).

Helpful list: Bats, swords, hammers, crowbars, pencils, screwdrivers… pretty much anything you have seen used in the movies.

See number 7

 Be aware of those around you!

An apocalypse doesn't just mean encountering the danger of the undead, it also means encountering other survivors. They could be strong allies or vicious enemies. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!

If in a group, take care. If you suspect a bite victim or double-crosser, DISPATCH IMMEDIATELY!

 Lay low!

While being attracted by the smell of flesh, zombies are also attracted by bright lights and loud sounds. Plan accordingly, people.

 Go for the head!

While fire and others will slow them down, the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain or separate the brain from the rest of the body. A good pencil through the ear-hole, a cricket bat to the face, a solid GTA/C.O.D. headshot… in general, poking around with the ole' noggin tends to do the trick.

Last, but not least: DO. NOT. GET. BITTEN!

IF YOU ARE BITTEN OR SCRATCHED, YOU WILL TURN INTO A ZOMBIE! There is no cure (yet). Keep your distance, avoid when you can, never let your guard down, and if you must fight — WIN!

I hope these tips prove useful to you until the army turns up. If done right, this whole ordeal could be a smashing good time!

May the apocalyptic odds be ever in your favor...

HAPPY BASHING!



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

190434
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

15029
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

457950
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26688
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments