Being raised in a small, mostly Republican and strongly Catholic community, I have grown up with the majority of my town and the people surrounding me, having old-fashioned gender roles.
The men make most of the money, the women stay home, or work part-time to care for the children and to take care of the house. At least, that's the way it was in my family. Dad was responsible for fixing things around the house, like the deck, while mom was responsible for washing clothes, and cooking meals. Depending on what area you live in currently, these gender roles are either highly accepted or strongly rejected.
With the third and intense wave of "feminism" that is so popular today, it seems that society is producing a new era of "man-hating women." The idea of the man being the breadwinner of the house disgusts many of the women who identify with this group. In fact, the very idea of a man being in charge of the household makes many of these women enraged. The word man, for some reason, ignites something very fiery inside of these women, and quite honestly it is primitive.
Remember in the late 1800s when men thought that women were not worthy of anything? In men's eyes, women were incapable of working because they were too frail. Until WWI, women were incapable of serving in the army because in the eyes of society they were "too good" to take part in an evil war. Women were not allowed to vote, one, because men thought that women were less than they were, and two, most of society believed that politics were "too dirty" for women to partake in.
In the late 1800s and early 1900s, women were perceived as being very holy beings. Women were viewed as having less worth than men did. Now, one hundred years later we are seeing these ideas resurface, except in the exact opposite direction, and I get it, I really do.
For the two years that I attended school in Duluth, I identified strongly, at some points, with this third wave of feminism. I found myself being angry at men because of, well, Donald Trump, and the way he talks about women, and also because of the high rates of rape young women face while they are attending college.
I began to place characteristics on men that I did not know to be true. For example, in my mind, I decided that most men did not respect women, and that women needed to rise above that. In my mind, I started to believe the lie that says women are better than men, and I ran with that lie, hardcore.
As much as I hate to admit it, I found myself putting most men in a category that deemed them as worthless human, who only wanted two things, sex, and power over women. As you can imagine, this ideal only created more contempt for men, and since I identified with the third wave of feminism, these ideals were only reaffirmed and further ignited.
But you see, there is a problem with this idealism. For one thing, it's not true. Most men are kind, hardworking and would honestly never want to hurt a woman –– or anyone for that matter. Are there some men who are sexist pigs?
Yeah. However, there are also very many women who rape men, abuse men and are sexist towards them as well. Secondly, this idealism is extremely hypocritical. Women don't want men placing their entire sex into a box of limitations and accusations, so why the hell would it be okay for women to do the same to men?
Answer: it's not.
If you are a woman who identifies with this third wave of feminism, I challenge you to step outside the box and develop a friendship with a man. If you have been abused or sexually assisted by a man, I am so sorry. I understand why you are so hurt, and so angry, but I promise you that not all men are like that. I know not all men are like that.
I have a wonderful fiancé who treats me like a queen, and would never ever touch me in a harmful way. I have many wonderful guy friends who would drop anything that they're doing to come and be with me if I am having a hard time with. I have a fantastic dad who teaches me so much and gives me wisdom. I have extended family, and soon to be family, who are men, and would do anything for their wives, children and even me.
So if you find yourself limited to this way of thinking, the way that says all men are the same, I challenge you to step outside of that box. I challenge you to form a friendship with a man. Get to know him, just like you would with one of your girl friends, I bet your eyes will be opened and your heart lifted. Not all men are evil, not all men are rapists, and not all men are sexist pigs. Remember that the next time you are tempted to put all men into the same category.
