So, a lot has changed in my life just over this summer alone.

Some of it was really exciting, fun, and enjoyable.
Some of it was really difficult, challenging, tiring, and frustrating.
And some of it came waaaaaaaay out of left field and threw me for a complete loop.

But all of it was GOOD.
Very, very good.

And I realized something rather important this summer, too

There has been a question I haven't been asking myself for a long, long time, and I realized that it was because of the pain, frustration, anger, disappointment, and other negative emotions asking this question could bring up. And I realized that any time I've thought about it, I remembered just how frustrating it's been that this question is something I need to ask myself, like the fact that I had to ask this question made me somehow less… capable… less… stable… less…

…just, less… I guess.

Well, first of all - that's a LIE. I'm not less of a person simply because it takes me more time and mental energy to figure out what my needs are, and neither are YOU!

Anyway, you know how some people have phobias? Yeah, well, you could say that this is a question I've been afraid of asking myself, and it is –

What are my needs, have I met them, and if not, why?

It's a simple question, right? Well… it hasn't been for me.

This question has caused a lot of anxiety for me in the past. For me, it's always been much, MUCH easier to feel things on behalf of others, and recognize and help meet the needs of other people than it has been for me to do the same for myself. Acknowledging my own needs, and having feelings towards and for myself is not my natural state.

However, I came to understand that if I was to keep living in the place of freedom that the Lord had so lovingly lead me to when I chose to say YES to this unexpected gap year, I would have to understand the importance of asking myself this question in particular, no matter how uncomfortable, painful, or difficult it was to ask it, and no matter how much time I had to take to truly process the answers to that question.

Asking this seemingly simple question REQUIRES you to recognize your own humanity. To be HUMAN is to have NEEDS. Simple. Anyone who tells you otherwise obviously doesn't remember what it was like to be a human child, completely dependent upon their parents or caregivers for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

So for me to admit that I have needs is me choosing to push past the pain, tension, and discomfort of this truth and recognizing that I can, and should, show myself the same level of care and attention to address my own needs and feelings as I do when I'm addressing the needs and feelings of others.

And THAT, my friends, that is one of the biggest hurdles that Jesus had to literally help me over in my journey towards learning how to love myself well. And I'm so thankful that I let Him help me.

Asking yourself this question and accepting that you have needs does not mean that you're a selfish or a needy person. It means that you're willing to be more self-aware, which is HUGE.
Asking yourself this question also means that you're willing to humble yourself enough to accept and recognize that you even have needs to begin with.

Asking yourself this question is choosing to not guilt-trip yourself over the fact that you have needs.
Asking yourself this question is choosing to place value on your own needs, on yourself.

And let me say this –

You are not defined by your needs.
You are not condemned by your needs.
You are not less of a person because you need something.
And YOU are NOT your needs.

Your needs do deserve your attention, compassion, and recognition.
Your needs do deserve being met in a healthy and loving way rather than being neglected and ignored.

So, my friends, don't be afraid to figure out what your needs are, and don't be afraid to make changes in your life to meet those needs! That's healthy to do, that's Biblical to do, and even JESUS, who understands what it is like to be human, understands being in need.

So if the Maker of everything in the universe had needs down here on earth and trusted God, His Father, who is also our Father, to meet them, then we can trust that God will look upon our needs with love, grace, compassion, kindness, His goodness, and provision.

After all, He is the ultimate Provider for all of our needs.

I'm going to choose to let Him be that for me.