Love. It’s wonderful, right? I agree. Well, kind of, but that’s beside the point. Anyways, if you are a believer of a “grand” love that is full of happiness, snuggling and late nights wrapped up together watching Netflix, then you need to have a solid relationship built. But unfortunately dating apps such as Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, and whatever else is out there are becoming more and more prevalent and the chances of finding a person who is willing to go above and beyond, let alone just be content with only one person, is steadily declining. These days, it's not uncommon to meet a person who is on multiple dating apps at one time just trying to find “the one.” Now, call me old fashioned, but I don’t want to build a relationship off of the understanding that the guy I’m trying to connect with has probably 15 other matches, or likes, or whatever.
But, for those of you who are brave enough to put yourself in what I imagine is not an easy dating pool, then I hope that you all have someone, or you are that someone to someone else who always, always, always protects their best friends from potential love disasters, including shame, humility, and most of all, heartbreak. Realistically, we are all both of those people at more than one point in our lives. I myself am definitely more of the protector when it comes to my girlfriends. I am outspoken, confident and not afraid to kick your ass if you break my best friends heart. So, for the guy out there who eventually wants to have a real, adult relationship with my friend, let me remind you that I am one of the most important people in her life. She turns to me for advice about everything, and values my opinions. So, if you want to date my best friend, here are six reasons why you need my approval:
1. I have known her forever.
All the beautiful women whom I call my best friends are all women that I have known for well over five years. I know everything about her. I know what she wants, but also what she needs. I'm always there to keep her heart and mind in perspective because she does the same thing for me. I have watched her fall in love and have her heart broken.
I'm not going to take it easy on you because I want to know before I give you my blessing that you aren't just going to abandon her for your next match on Tinder.
2. We spend pretty much all of our time together.
This really isn't an exaggeration. My friends and I spend a lot of our time together, so if you and I can't get along, then I'm not sure how you think you can make a relationship work with my best friend. Yes, you will have so much time to yourselves as you fall blissfully in love, but part of a healthy relationship is maintaining other healthy relationships around it. I know that she would want the three of us to be able to go out for drinks together, or just hang out on the couch watching movies. And I want us to be friends too. (You can set me up with one of your friends. Perfect!)
But seriously, it's important to me, the same way it is important to my friends, that the men or women in our lives fit well into the lives of those we love. Friendship goes a long way.
3. I can be your biggest advocator.
Maybe this one surprises you a bit, which I can understand cause I'm yet to say anything overly kind or positive about or towards you. But I can, and when I know it is right, be your biggest fan. If my best friend loves you, and I know you as a person, and I know that you love her too, and that you are willing to fight for her and put up with her in some of her worst times, then I will be her voice of reason, reminding her why you are the right choice.
I want her to be happy, all of the time. I want her heart to be full. I want to know that she is taken care of. I want to know that she is appreciated. I want her to feel wanted. And if you do all of these things, then I will always fight for you in those small moments where she might need it.
4. She values my opinion.
I know I said this earlier, but I think it is really important for you to understand that, best friends--guys or girls--value and respect the thoughts and opinions of the most important people in their life. Yes, they will always ultimately make their own decisions, but don't think for a second that what their friend thinks, feels and believes will not be thoroughly thought about.
And as long as you are the man whom she deserves, then this is a good thing, because she listens to me. I know we all tend to get scared of getting hurt, and my friends, much like myself, have a tendency to run. But, we are also lucky enough to have someone there who will stop us, and bring us back to a calm, less terryfing place.
As long as I know and can attest to your character, I always will. I promise.
5. I will hold you to the same standards as I do myself.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a heart the size of an ocean. But just like any ocean, there are some sharks in there. (That was pretty cheesy and lame...get over it) My point here is that I do whatever I humanly can for my friends. Need a ride? I'm there. Need me to buy you dinner? Of course. (And no, I don't expect to be paid back.) Want to be crazy and make bad decisions? I'll be over as soon as I can. Want me to spend the night because you just can't stand the thought of sleeping alone? I'm there, just don't whine about my fan being on.
One night, I knew my friend really wanted an ice cream sundae from McDonalds, (gross, I know, but we love her, remember?) but anyways, she was too cold and comfy to leave her house, so despite the fact that it was winter, and close to -40 below, I left to go home, and stopped at Mc.Dons to get her sundae, and then took it to her. It wasn't a big deal to me, I just did what I would do for any of my friends. It wasn't until later that week when my friend made the comment that her boyfriend would never do that, and that I treated her better than him. It was then that I thought, "Why the hell not?" She deserves a man who will go above and beyond, because she, like all of my friends, will go above and beyond for their significant other.
6. I love her.
Plain and simple. I love her. She is my best friend, she is my rock, she is everything to me as I'd like to think that I am to her. We find happiness in each others company, regardless of what we are doing; from going to the bar, going to church, going to the gym, or just hanging around the house watching movies and literally being silly and laughing all day.
I love my best friend because I see all of the best aspects of who she is, and can appreciate them along with the "bad." I want her to find a man who can do the same. I don't want her to end up with a man who tries to quiet the funny, vibrant and beautiful person she is.
So, if you want to date my best friend, you need to know that having my approval is key and as long as you are a good and honest person who makes an effort with her friends, family, and most importantly her, then you will have it.
And I know I may sound kind of like a B***H, but it's just because I care about her, and I will always do what I can to protect her. And one day, when you love her the way I do, you will appreciate how I am with her, because you will be glad that someone was looking out for her, and making sure she knew her worth until you came along to remind her of it every day.