I'm not in college to find my husband. I'm here to get an education.

All too often, women are put into a box. They are defined by their relationships to men. The concept of an MRS degree is one example of this. 

As a liberal arts major, I am used to getting questions like, “why did you come to Tech to study that?” or “what are you going to do with that after graduation?” Yet, there is one question that bothers me beyond all others. Without fail, there is always someone, and it’s almost always a guy, who asks “Oh, so you’re getting your MRS?” 

First, let me just say, no. No. No. No. I am not getting my MRS degree. Brittany Rivero, a senior psychology major, has also gotten this question many times. Her response is, “This is not the 1950s, and the concept of an MRS degree is archaic.” This archaic view has been made worse by websites like TFM and TSM. For example, one TSM post reads, “It doesn’t matter how you do on your finals, as long as your future husband is acing his.” Do we really care that little about the outcome of our education? 
 
It’s a sad reality that many marriages end in divorce. What happens when those who cared so little about their education are left with nothing? Do they have anything left to create a life for themselves? 

Rivero also mentioned that she is not, “working hard for a degree so [she] can spend [her] life vacuuming in pearls and high heels.” This idea of the perfect trophy wife has been taken too far. Ladies, stand up and realize that your talents deserve to be given to the world! You deserve a career and a life that you are proud of, whatever that means for you. I love to bake, but I also love my research. I can knit a sweater, but I can also write a twelve-page research paper in one night. The two are not mutually exclusive. They can actually co-exist quite peacefully. 

Let me make a quick clarification. There is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom or wanting to have children and get married. In fact, I plan on having a family, some day, and I will probably stay home with my children when they are young. If being a wife and a mother is the life that will make you proud, then defend it and do it. You want to homeschool your kids, too? Do it. 

A stay-at-home mom with a college degree is still a woman with a college degree. It doesn’t make her hard work and effort in her college years any different than a man who studied engineering and ends up working for a prestigious engineering firm. Women work just as hard as men do for their degrees, so why should it matter what they end up doing with them? 

My dad majored in agricultural engineering and spent 30 years selling insurance. Would you say that his effort toward a degree he never used was worthless? I bet not, because he’s a man. However, if I never touch my religion degree, I’ll probably hear comments about it.

What about the woman who majored in architecture, one of Tech’s hardest programs, and ends up being a stay-at-home mom? Is she more valuable than me because her major is deemed “difficult” by society? No. I honestly don’t believe that. All of our collegiate experiences are equal and valuable because they are different. You simply cannot compare writing a research paper that critically analyzes Greek words in the New Testament to doing a senior design project for engineering. They are two different entities, both challenging in their own, unique ways. 

All I’m trying to say is that it’s offensive for someone to assume what a woman wants in her future based on her gender or her major. So, next time you want to ask someone what they intend to do with their major after graduation, I hope you’ll choose to do it in a less blatantly sexist way. Start a conversation without assumptions and see where it goes. You may be surprised.