They’re the person that’s seen you at both your best and your worst. They’ve been with you when you got that new internship, and carried you home when your night wasn’t as successful. They’ve seen you on your best hair days, and when you’re wearing a groutfit and eating Ben and Jerry’s. Even if you’re the most open person with all of your friends, there are certain things you would only ever say to your roommate.
- This cheese expired two days ago. I can still eat that right?
- How greasy is my hair? Can I get away with not showering tonight?
- She hasn't taken the trash out in weeks... Leave it there until she does.
- Are these your leftovers from last night or the ones from Thursday? It doesn't matter either way, I just want to know if I can eat them.
- When's the last time we vacuumed?
- It's not normal that water isn't coming out of our faucet right? Noses for calling the landlord.
- I wore this same blank tank out three nights last week. Can I do it again?
- Shot not for going into the basement (read: murder scene) to flip the fuse box.
- Can I wear my leggings out?
- So I have some bad news. You know that shirt I borrowed last weekend? I may or may not have spilled a vodka cranberry on it. Oh, and it’s at Dave’s.
- You can’t actually post those photos. That’s not my good side.
- Promise not to tell anyone if I have Chipotle for the third night in a row?
- I can't find a date to this function. Will you go with me?
- Come look at my pile of laundry. Think I can go another week?
- I have two pairs of leggings left. I can definitely do it, right?
- Does my a$$ look good in these?
- I've already eaten mac-n-cheese and pizza, don't judge me that I'm now going to have ice cream.
- If we’re going to dinner, we have to go somewhere that I don't have to put contacts in for.
- Driving to the buses for tailgate, bad idea or good idea?
- I'm confused... Is Kourtney the one who just had the baby or the one married to Kanye?
- Wait, do we like him again or still hate him?
- I promised my mom I wouldn't go to Mexico for spring break. Does that mean we can’t go to Punta Cana?
- You'll see 50 Shades of Grey with me, right?
- Oh god I have to babysit Saturday and there's that tailgate. If you're more sober after you'll be around to drop me off, right?
- Wait, wait, what sport is this?
- You can’t drunk cry again tonight. I want to actually have fun.
- Is my makeup from last night still acceptable for today?
- You’re my favorite roommate.
- I actually hate you.
- Ugh, Sam Smith again. Which boy was it this time?
- Is that the Katie we hate or the Katie we like? I can never remember.
- I just want to weep.
- You’re cool sleeping in the lounge tonight so I can have the room, right? Thanks.
- I know you left me at at the bar last night, but I’m going to need you to come pick me up this morning...
- Want me to demonstrate?
- Are you planning a breakdown anytime this week? The brownies you stress break are phenomenal, and I’m really craving chocolate.
- *After barging in on them and their boyfriend* … “Are you guys both naked?” “Yes.” “Well anyways last night when I was out…” *proceeds to stay, sit on the bed and chat anyways*
- We did less than well last night.
- We’re living together next year, right?