I am a curvy girl living in the 21st century. As most girls in the 21st century, I have body image issues. Society tells us that we should look a certain way or that we are not beautiful. According to society, in order to be perfect, we should have Keira Knightly's waist, Kim Kardashian's butt, Katy Perry's breasts, Carrie Underwood's legs, and Miley Cyrus' hair (pre-bleach blonde). There is no way to achieve all of that without having a lot of work done to your body. The media does not display what girls should strive for.
One of the biggest things that used to bother me about being a curvy girl was having skinny friends. In high school, the majority of my friends were skinny and I used to compare myself to them a lot. I don't always hang out with those girls anymore, but my best friend of ten years is one of the skinniest people I know. I can remember looking in the mirror and thinking,
"Why is she friends with me? She's so tall and skinny and I'm short and fat."
That was my thought process and it may seem foolish to people reading this, but when you have body image issues the way you think about yourself isn't always logical. My best friend doesn't look at me the way I spent years looking at myself and she would scold me constantly when I talked about myself in a bad way.
I couldn't see what my best friend saw in me until my dad said something one night, something I can't get out of my head.
Dad: "Sarah is a smart, confident, talented, amazing woman, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Dad: "Then wouldn't Sarah be friends with someone like that. She can see something in you and when you realize that you will see what everyone else sees."
That conversation happened about a month ago and I still can't get it out of my head. That conversation is what has been driving me to look in the mirror and see the person he was talking about. That one conversation erased an ideal I had been thinking for most of my life. But, that doesn't mean I have fully accepted how I look outwardly.
I'm still not comfortable in my own skin, but it will be a long process. The next part of my process that I think needs attacking is my shopping mentality. Bikini season is almost here and there is no better time than that to tackle this mentality. Shopping is a scary thing to do when you have body issues. Most everything you see on the hanger or mannequin, you hate on yourself. Bikinis are the worst for me in this category. Finding a bikini I like and am comfortable in is a long, and demeaning process. I found a bikini last year that I was comfortable in and made me feel good. That might have been one of the highlights of my year. Most people think it's just clothes. Clothes are a curvy girl's best friend and worst enemy, especially when that girl is struggling with body image issues. Clothes can cover up what we don't like or they can accent what we don't like.
As someone who doesn't like their body, I don't take compliments very well. There's something about hearing a compliment and wanting it to be true, but doubting yourself. Not taking compliments well doesn't mean I think the person is trying to hurt me by lying, but I always feel they are trying to be polite. I haven't quite figured out a direct approach to this issue, but maybe in solving my other issues with myself this one will become easier.
Something that I have found helpful in this loving myself and all my curves process is when I can find certain things or people who aren't displayed as stick thin in the media or around me. Successful people such as Adele, Meghan Trainor, Kristen Vangsness, Christina Hendricks, and Queen Latifah are a real confidence booster. Googling 'curvy women sayings' and clicking on the images can not only give you a good laugh but boost your confidence as well. Despite what I said in the beginning of this article, the media does depict some female bodies that are attainable and are just as, if not more, beautiful.