For the longest time, I didn't know what to say to you. I tried for weeks and weeks after we broke up to figure out what it was that I did wrong. What had I said or done that made you dislike me so much that you would leave me in a dark, lonely place? However, I soon realized that it wasn't me who did anything wrong, it was you.
After we ended things I heard so many stories from love veterans who had been in my shoes before. But no matter how much advice people gave me, it wasn't the same because this was my love story, and that somehow made things different. Although, your actions and words were no different than any other story I had heard. You used me, abused me, and wrung me dry, but the worst part is, I let you. I became so blinded by your "love" that I couldn't see the hurt and the pain that I felt from it.
Don't get me wrong, there were many good days in our relationship, but there came a point where no matter what, we only saw bad days. It took me months to realize that the relationship I was in was not something that I wanted, nor needed. I realized that our love was unhealthy, and after coming together and breaking apart several times, I realized that we needed to go our own separate ways.
No matter how hard I tried to be what you wanted, it just wasn't good enough, or thats what I thought at least. Your family became my family, but mine never became yours. Why you may ask? Well I guess we'll never really know. I honestly thought that I was doing this relationship thing the right way, but I guess not. I thought we could withstand any challenge or obstacle, but you ran away when things got hard and inconvenient. You left me in the dark when you couldn't see the light. You didn't fight for our love, you fought for what you wanted in our love. And that wasn't me.
Everything that you wanted, you can have now. You have moved on and I'm perfectly fine with that. You found someone new and I'm genuinely happy for you. I know that I will find another love one day too, but not the same love we had. I will find a love that is better and stronger than ours. I survived the only thing I never thought was possible, pure heartbreak. And with that came a strength that you never gave me. A foundation of self-reliance and self-acceptance that I never thought was possible with you in the picture. And for that alone, I regret nothing. I'm grateful for what you have taught me, because I know I will never accept that sort of sickening, disastrous love ever again.
God placed you in my life for a reason. Maybe not the reason you or I wanted, but only he knows why. I wish you the best in life, and I mean that.
Sincerely,
Me.