College. The four years of your life where you are supposed to find yourself, lose yourself, and then find yourself all over again—all while preparing for the rest of your life. To say that it’s stressful is an understatement. But why is it so stressful? Where does this stress come from? Is it the endless hours of studying? The late nights spent cramming for exams? Partially. But college brings a lot more stress to the table than just academic stress. Obviously class, getting involved and earning a degree are all really important, but I think the most important part of your college career is the relationships you are going to build—relationships with your peers, relationships with your professors, relationships with your friends, relationships with significant others, and most importantly—your relationship with yourself.

So why is it so important that you make your college years your selfish years? The four years that you spend in college are some of the most crucial, life-changing and formative years of your life. That being said, this is your time to be wholeheartedly and unashamedly selfish. Take this time to make yourself your number one priority.

Be selfish with your emotions.

Don’t let anyone put you down or make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Cut off the guy who only texts you at 2:00 a.m. Cut off the friend who can only be there for you when it’s convenient for them. Stop wasting your love, compassion and effort on those who don’t deserve it. The people who care about you and support you will be there for you at the end of day without a second thought. Surround yourself with those people.

Be selfish with your time.

Stop wasting time on the guy who “doesn’t know what he wants.” You know what you want and it’s not someone who isn’t willing to give you their all. Focus your time and energy on the things that bring positivity to your life. Get involved on campus. Start going to the gym more than once a month. Find a new hobby that you love. Focus on making yourself a better person.

Be selfish with your goals.

It is so easy to the let the influences of those around you determine where you are going in life. Only you know what you truly want. Only you know your true desires. So don’t be afraid to work for them. Integrity and commitment go a long way, so set your heart on something and don’t stop until you achieve it.

By focusing on bettering yourself, you will undoubtedly maintain a more fulfilled and happier life. Stop worrying about what others are saying and doing. Worry about what you are doing. Make these four years count. If you don’t like something about your life, change it. Stop relying on others to make the change for you. College is about finding yourself. Once you know how to make yourself happy, the rest will come.