Darth Vader @DepressedDarth If you had your legs chopped off by your best friend and your wife died, you'd have trust issues too
The QI Elves @qikipedia Woody Allen has written every one of his film scripts on a typewriter he bought 64 years ago
wint @dril (saying loud enough so people can hear) the matrix is the james bond of steam punk
wolf pupy @wolfpupy going to take a leaf from wikipedia and let you all know that if everyone reading this gave me 600 dollars the world would be a better place
Ali Spagnola @alispagnola I'm really good at cooking beans and soup and vegetables and tuna…from a can…at room temperature… Also, it turns out that's not cooking.
jay cipher @iamjalani normal sleeping schedules? what are thoooose
jay cipher @iamjalani my "pretending to be okay game" strong af.
demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon im the guy at karaoke that likes to screech the guitar solo in bohemian rhapsody. everybody i've ever dated goes to another school in canada
Karl From Online @HammerFist3
Good pickup lines free of charge:
• "Hey girl have you ever watched YouTube?"
• "Piranhas are scary."
•"I found an old computer in the alley
Darth Vader @DepressedDarth Less than a month until the new Star Wars
stanley behrman @stanleybehrman
It could never happen to me
*Happens to me
Danni @Danni7676 Broken crayons still color....
Blu @TwoSapphiresBlu Pretty sure I heard my bills audibly sigh as I tossed them into a pile.
Underchilde @Underchilde Love is like that rain scene in The Notebook, except you get struck by lightning.
unreMarcable @itshotterhere I'd rather fight it out, if it's real, than to have it easy with something fake.
Craving @calluptome If you need me I'll be in a weird mood.
scott hayes @legrant101 Your heart opens a little more with every "thank you" that passes your lips.
philosophy of mind @nakedlaughing Come with me, I found a hidden life inside the pages of this book...