My whole life I have always been taught that girls need to look out for their safety. It began in middle school when we were taught that if a boy is being mean to you then you should just be the better person and ignore them. It progressed on through high school. Girls were taught that they had to be even more careful at parties because of the rape culture that has developed in society. We were taught to hold tight to our drinks at parties so no one would drug us. Following through to college, we learned that we had to always walk in large groups because there’s always that chance that a man may follow you and attack you.
Year after year, I learned more and more ways to keep myself safe. Safe from men. I wasn’t being taught how to keep myself safe from anything else. Safe was never what I felt. I have always felt this little fear in the back of mind. What I was taught in school has inflicted this little piece of fear in me that comes out every time I walk alone, go out at night, and so on.
But why is it fair that I have to feel afraid? Afraid to walk alone on my campus coming back from class late at night. Afraid that if I walk at night that the boys who cat call me on the streets might one day not just yell at me, but actually approach me. I know I am not the only one with these feelings. Most girls feel this way everyday.
What about the boys? In health class at school they were never told to watch out for their safety. They don’t need to watch their drinks at parties. Or worry about coming home late at night. So what is the problem here? The problem is that women are being taught to try and keep themselves safe, to take all precautions to keep themselves out of danger.
Not only should girls be taught how to be cautious, but also boys should be blatantly taught that drugging girls, following them home, raping them and treating them inappropriately is wrong. Most boys are never taught by their parents, teachers or peers that they should not act out in these ways. The conversation is never had because most people just expect that their son, or student, would do such horrible things.
The reality is the conversation needs to happen. If we can teach girls to learn to protect themselves and keep out of harms way, we can teach boys to not create the harm or danger. It is important to open the discussion up to men. The conversation of safety of women cannot be one-sided. The other side, men, have to be included and aware of what not to do. Women should not have to do all the work to keep stay safe.
The only way to prevent rape, assault, drugging, and many more inappropriate acts is to explain to both girls and boys what they can do stay out of these situations. The discussion can no longer be one-sided, both men and women must be included.