We’ve all likely known someone with a mental illness, or perhaps we have experienced one ourselves. But how often do we really hear someone talking about it out loud? How often are people sharing their experiences? In most places the answer is not often, because of the stigma around mental illness. All too often people would rather not admit to their depression or anxiety, because they are afraid of the judgment that may go along with it. And that is not OK. Something needs to change, and it starts with talking.

I first started experiencing symptoms of depression when I was 15-years-old. I started having horrible anxiety the next year, and symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder two years after that. It wasn’t until I was 19 that I decided that I needed help, and admitted it out loud. I had waited so long to speak up because of the judgment that I was sure would come. No one likes to talk about mental illness.

Why didn’t I tell anyone I was struggling? Because I was afraid of what others would say. Would they say I was broken? That I was a freak? Or even worse, would they tell me my life wasn’t that bad, that others had it worse, and I shouldn’t be complaining? I couldn’t handle the judgment of others, when I spent so much time judging myself. So I stayed quiet.

Instead of getting therapy, I let myself get worse. I started to hate everything about myself, I couldn’t look in the mirror, and I dreaded going out. I had panic attacks whenever I ate because I thought I was becoming too fat and too ugly. But none of this seemed as bad to me as admitting to the world that I had a mental illness. Because right now, we live in a society that places mental illness below other illnesses. For some reason, we seem to believe that those with mental illness are responsible for it; that there was something they could have done to prevent it. We would never say that to someone with cancer, but to someone with depression, some people wouldn’t even think twice. This is where the disparity lies. Where people would never judge someone for taking insulin for diabetes, why are they so quick to tell others that antidepressants are unnecessary and are an example of an overreliance on pharmaceuticals?

It’s because people don’t fully understand mental illness, and maybe it’s not their fault. We don’t talk about it. We downplay depression to be a simple case of the blues, and make a joke out of rituals seen in OCD. We throw out these words without thinking – you aren’t “depressed” because your favorite character on your show died, you’re momentarily upset. You aren’t “so OCD” because you like things alphabetized, you’re organized. We need to make a conscious effort to understand the difference, because this is the first step. When you understand that mental illness isn’t as simple as that, and realize that instead it is dependent on so many other factors, you start to move in the right direction. Then we need to move on to limiting negative talk: people with eating disorders aren’t gross, people who self-harm are not merely attention seekers, and people with mental illnesses are not crazy. They are sick. They need help. And we have to try to understand.

We need to stop acting like mental illness is not a big deal, or that if ignored, it will go away. According to the World Health Organization, as many as 450 million people have some sort of behavioral disorder or mental illness. It’s not going anywhere. Instead of trying to pretend this isn’t a big deal, we should be focusing our energy on education. Mental illness isn’t a disease of the weak and it isn’t a cry for attention. It is a serious, life-changing illness. Medication and therapy should not be judged or looked down upon, because they change lives. They help heal. They can change a life from one of isolation and self-loathing to one of hope. They can prevent potential suicides. But if the stigma against mental illness continues, many people may be too afraid to speak up. We need to start talking, start making people understand. We should not be ashamed; we deserve life just as much as everyone else.

I spent years pretending I was fine because I let myself believe what others said about mental illness. I told myself I was weak even though I knew that I was sick, because that’s how society made me feel. And I know I’m not the only one. People with mental illness oftentimes have very negative feelings towards themselves already, so hearing this from friends does not help. So what can you do? If you see someone struggling with mental illness, ask them how you can help. Listen. Just be there for them. Sometimes knowing that you have someone who will sit with you and not say anything at all is all the comfort you need.

Right now we need to take a stand for ourselves. We are worth more than being told our illnesses aren’t real. We deserve equality in treatment. We deserve to live in a world where we shouldn’t have to be afraid to say that we have a mental illness for fear of being looked down upon. Because my mental illness didn’t mean I was weak. On the contrary, it made me into a stronger person than I ever thought I could be.

So what we need to do is talk about it. Spread the word and help to break the stigma. Don’t be afraid. In the end, talking about it was the only thing that made me feel better. Talking about it got me treatment. And for the first time in seven years, I can truly say I am happy with who I am, mental illnesses and all. I’m no longer afraid to admit this was a part of my life for a long time. And I’m not worried that people will ask me why I’m sharing this “baggage” for the world to see. Because that’s just it – it’s not baggage. It’s not something to be ashamed about. It’s an illness that needs treatment. And it’s something that we need to talk about. If we don’t start talking now, when will we ever start? So I’m asking readers to take the first step. Tell others the truth about mental illness. We are not crazy, and if we need help, we should feel no need to be ashamed. Tell the world how important it is to try to understand. The time has come to start talking about mental illness, and we should never stop.