Chronic overthinkers. If it’s not you, you definitely have a friend or two that is one. Decisions are tough, even after you think you’ve made them, and embarrassments of even the tiniest sort will haunt you for years.
1. Remember that one time I said that one thing to that one person like five years ago?? OMG, that was so embarrassing. I bet they think I’m so weird. Why am I so weird???
2. “Hey.” … Why did he just put a period there? Is he mad at me? This is terrible, something terrible must have happened.
3. I keep making awkward eye contact with everyone I walk past. I know I’m looking at them, but why are they looking at me? Is there something on my face? Did I stain my shirt?
4. Okay, online shopping. Yes. I'll just go right to the clearance section so I can get like, double the amount. So frugal. How did I end up with 40 items in my cart? Wait, that’s too much. But which do I give up? I love them all. I can’t just pick one and not the other. Which would I wear more? What if they don’t fit? Fine, none of them.
5. Do you think anyone would be able tell that my shoes have that little gold logo, but all my jewelry is silver? That looks so bad, right? I can’t wear these shoes.
6. My mom hasn’t communicated with me in two hours. I hope everything is okay. What if something happened? I should call her 50 more times…
7. FROYO, YES!! What flavor? I love original, but maybe I should spice it up this time, go a little crazy… What about chocolate? Or wedding cake? Strawberry? Ugh, why so many options? Original it is.
8. I know there’s that whole “find a penny” good luck thing, but how does it work exactly? Do I need to keep it with me all day? Or is just picking it up enough? How long does the luck last? Heads up only, right?
9. I thought I was having a really good hair day, but he hasn’t said anything about how nice I look. Did it go flat already? Maybe I actually look awful and my eyes were lying to me. What if I’ve never actually ever seen what I look like? Are mirrors even real? Ugh.
10. My head hurts in an abnormally weird way. Let’s see what WebMD has to say about this. Does my chest hurt? Well, yes, now that I think about it. And my back? Maybe. Is this a heart attack? It’s cancer, isn’t it? I should call the doctor.
11. OMG, I should totally tweet that… right? Or will no one else understand? Is this the correct grammar? I should Google that phrase to make sure. Spellcheck for five minutes, too.
12. Four hours later and still no sleep. Maybe I should try counting sheep… does that work? Who even thought of that? There are so many mysteries in this world… I mean, what even is life? Why are we here? Who invented bacon?
13. Did I say that weird? I feel like that was a really weird “hi.” My voice definitely sounded different. I think I sounded too excited there. Great, now they probably won’t want to hang out with me anymore.
14. “I’m just really stressed out.”
15. Someone help, I need an on/off switch to my brain.