7 Types of Hangovers You Get in Five Points
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Student Life

7 Types of Hangovers You Get in Five Points

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7 Types of Hangovers You Get in Five Points

1. The Pav’s Hangover

Whether you’re a panicky freshman memorizing your zip code (and hoping the bouncer lets you in with your shiny new fake ID), or a seasoned senior trying to relive your glory days, the Pav’s hangover is one that every USC student has experienced at one point or another. You may wake up with sticky shoes still on your feet, but spending only $8 on the eight shots you bought for yourself and all your new drunk friends makes the hangover worth it.

2. The Salty Nut Hangover

When you wake up the next morning with the smell of peanuts on your fingers and the taste of a Long Island iced tea on your breath, expect the Salty Nut hangover. Despite the headache and unexpectedly high bar tab, you can’t help feeling satisfied – never-ending free peanuts will make up for any regrets in the morning.

3. The Jake’s Hangover

This is a classy hangover, for the draft beer lovers who would rather sit and chat with friends than break it down at Cotton Gin. Make it there early on Wednesdays and you might even be able to wake up for your 8:30 class on Thursday morning – or at least tell yourself that as you go up for your fourth and fifth Blue Moon. The orange makes it nutritious, right?

4. The Parrot Heads Hangover

If you end up in Parrot Heads, you’re doing something wrong. If you take a wrong turn after a visit to the Chicken on a Stick man, turn right back around and head back to The Horseshoe for a fishbowl to wash down the memory.

5. Bar None Hangover

Somehow, you made it to last call and decided to casually stop by Bar None on your way home. Trying to be cool, you take a few steps in, sway a little along with the music, and then drop the act and walk straight to the bar – not to demand another drink, but a large order of mozzarella sticks. You wake up later than usual, head throbbing, but with a smile on your face and a vague blissful cheesy memory that might have just been a dream.

6. The Horseshoe Hangover

The Horseshoe – or should I say Kildare’s, or Grandma’s – has changed names faster than most students can change their majors here in Columbia, but the hangover is always the same. Never-ending $5 fishbowls do take a toll on the body, but the underclassmen eagerly line up around the building for a chance to sip unknown blue liquid through adult-sized bendy straws.

7. The Cotton Gin Hangover

Sometimes, you just want to dance. When your body aches from dancing and your head hurts from the strobe lights, but you wake up with five new numbers in your phone, one named “Jake Fireball Shots” and the next “Phteven,” you surely have the Cotton Gin hangover. Drag yourself out of bed and reclaim your dignity, because you probably lost it while doing what you were sure what a perfect imitation of Bruno Mars in "Uptown Funk" but turned out to be closer to a small seizure on the dance floor.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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