The key to confidence is changing the way you think rather than changing the way you look.
What most of us fail to realize is that being confident does not necessarily mean that you are free of any insecurities or imperfections. It means that you have learned to accept and embrace them instead of letting them get in your way. We are not our bodies; we are what is inside of them. Although our bodies do not define who we are, we should still learn to love them.
A few years ago I watched the Dove Evolution Commercial. According to Dove, only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful. The Dove commercial reveals why our perception of beauty is so distorted. It features an average woman in front of a camera, under harsh high-definition lighting, being photographed for a makeover. The Dove glam team takes over, and begins transforming her face with just a few strokes of a makeup brush and an expensive concealer. But it did not stop there. After the camera snaps and captures the photo of the woman, they elongate her neck, blurr her blemishes, widen her mouth, and plump her lips with just a few clicks on Photoshop. The after-photo reveals one thing; everyone is meant to look real, not perfect.
First and foremost, accept who you are. You will always be you, and that will never change. The most difficult step toward learning to be confident is to stop any comparisons to the person next to you. Kurt Cobain once said “wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are”. Don’t waste the person you are, own it.
It is okay to admire others, and even become inspired by them. But sometimes when we look at other people, we tend to judge ourselves. I may not be a scientist or a doctor, but odds are that you most likely will not wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly look like Kate Upton or Ryan Gosling (If in fact tomorrow you do suddenly wake up like Ryan Gosling, please feel free to take down my number). The point is that you do not have to look like either one of them to feel confident in who you are and what you look like.
It is a natural human quality to sometimes look into the mirror and want to change something. It is also completely healthy to set goals for yourself and to believe that you are capable of improvement. However it is unhealthy to judge and hate yourself because you may not be exactly where you want to be. Instead of criticizing yourself, praise yourself. Acknowledge all the great things that separate you from everyone else.
Remember that gaining confidence is not always easy. Unfortunately it doesn't come like a light switch, where you can simply just turn it on. But also remember that you are the only one with the power to dim your own light.