We’ve all had those nights when skipping over drunk food seems worse than shoving our faces with whatever will suppress the craving.

After turning 21 over the summer and being exposed to the Purdue bars, I can now say I’ve experienced every situation where drunk food is both desirable and seemingly a necessity.  Below I’ve compiled a list of my top 5 favorite drunk food stops, and why they’re so important to this campus.

5. AJ’s Burgers and Beef

This may come as a shocker to some people. It’s not as famous as some of the other places on campus, but hear me out.  They don’t have the fastest delivery service on campus, and you’ll most likely have to go out of your way for this place, but as a Chicagoland native, this place is near and dear to my heart. It’s no Portillo’s, but they have some solid Chicago style dogs and some waffle fries that’ll cross your eyes. Prices are pretty reasonable, and every drunk kid could use a nice grease lining at the end of the night. As a bonus, they have the 1260 challenge – a 2 lb. burger, waffle fries, and a drink. If you eat it in 13 minutes or less, you get the meal for free, your picture and name on the wall of fame, and a free t-shirt. This is most likely a challenge to be attempted while sober, but it’s definitely worth consideration.

4. McDonald’s

We all know McDonald’s is a place we should stay away from, but as the level of drunkenness increases, the level of desire for a 20-piece McNuggets meal seems to increase as well.  In addition to being among the most familiar food on campus, the environment is a definite plus.  It seems as though you are guaranteed to run into people you know starting every Thursday night after 1 a.m.  Costumes and themes are a frequent encounter and usually elicit a chuckle or two.  It’s definitely a walk from the bars, but with the amount of calories you’re going to consume, it’s definitely worth it.    

3. Famous Franks

I had my first Famous Franks encounter very recently and ughhhh, WOW.  This place is everything a glutton could ever dream of.  To be in the middle of this list after one trip should speak to the excitement this place provokes.  I know I sound like a rookie talking about this place after one trip, but I feel like this will be a very fruitful, long-term relationship.  I feel as if the owners sat down with a table of appetizers and sauces, closed their eyes, and shoved a few things in a bun.  However they did it, their creations are magical and very satisfying to both the taste buds and appetite.

I once debated writing an “Ode to the Cheesy Bread” article. This place, and more specifically, cheesy bread, is that important to me.  I can’t say I’ve explored many other options from their menu, but why bother?  The cheesy bread is the most diverse drunk food there is.  First of all, it is shareable, which is a plus for when you’re entertaining.  Second of all, it’s highly portable.  In addition, it’s ideal for sorority girls.  It provides an outlet to turn into savage beasts and kill the entire thing in a discrete manner.  The taste and price make the legendary cheesy bread even more desirable.  Delivery is relatively quick, and the sauces add another level of enjoyment. 

I would have never included Taco Bell to this list before I was able to go to the bars.  This one is not necessarily about the quality of the food.  The food is what it is – cheap and filling.  The environment and location, however, are a different story.  The environment is similar to McDonald’s in that everyone is likely drunk after midnight.  It differs, however, because everyone is over 21 and a potential new friend to go to the bars with.  It helps greatly during a long wait in the bar lines or in-between the Cactus and campus bars.  Finally, Baja Blast.  Two words have never been so refreshing.  If you’ve never tried it, you should do that ASAP.

If only Chipotle was open late on weekends....