By Chaz Usher

You lost it, now what?

Despite what social media, TFM, and your friends who will be participating try to tell you, not everyone goes on Spring Break. For whatever reason, be it lack of funds, lack of interest, or your group falling apart, you will no longer be gracing the beautiful sand beaches of the south. Right about now is when you start to regret it, so I am here to take you through what you will be feeling up until all the Spring Breakers have come and gone.

1. Denial: At this point, we are all in the denial stage. We say we don’t wish we were going, stop lying, or those who are really struggling try to convince themselves they can still pull it together and go.  Just admit it, you are going to be jealous as crazy stories appear in Groupme’s or over texts. To move out of this stage, go and think about the peacefulness of home: no school, no parties, just sleep and good food.

2. Anger: The transition into angry can be rough. As your friends brag about MTV only being a ten-minute walk down a sandy beach, you get angry. You try to blame other people for the fact that you didn’t work last summer. It wasn’t your fault all the houses in PCB were booked when you didn’t check until a month before. And why do landlords only rent to people over twenty-five? In through the nose and out through the mouth; there’s always next year. 

3. Bargaining: Now tread lightly here. I am not talking bargaining with God. I am talking literally, if you sell enough of your personal belongings, you will, in fact, be able to find a way down to the warm weather. It’s not worth it! With the money you save by not going, put it in a trust fund for those of your friends who will need it when their car breaks down, they don’t get their deposit back, and their wallet, phone, and dignity are lost. Who am I kidding? Girls go shopping, boys buy the new PS4, it is worth saving the money. 

4. Depression: This will hit you when it is finally inconceivable to make it on a trip.  The sadness of having to deal with snow (what happened to Global Warming?) and the cold while your friends are tanning is just too much. Do the right thing here: go downstairs to your parents' well-stocked fridge, and grab some cookie dough. Now move to the couch, lie around in your pajamas all day, and start (and finish) a new series on Netflix. 

5. Acceptance: Finally you will have your break through. Whether it is hanging out with friends you haven’t seen in months, being back together with your long distance significant other, or wrestling your dog, you realize you made the right decision. As your pledge brothers or sisters are bombarding the Groupme with what he or she did, just roll over in your soft, clean, and full sized bed and go back to sleep. 

WARNING: The human body is strong, but can only go through a trauma like this so many times. The moral of the story is to get yourself together over the summer, make some money, rent an awesome house. As great as a lazy week at home is, raising hell on the beaches of Florida with your brothers and sisters? Don’t miss that twice.