Living in a fraternity is no easy task. In fact, I consider us warriors. Each weekend, and several times throughout the week, we’re required to fulfill our duty of entertaining sorority women and raging the night away. This, along with pledgeship, is what ties us together as brothers. 

With every battle, injuries are sure to occur in the form of relationships. These consensual affiliations sideline our bros as they watch afar with sullen eyes. Evenings that should be spent crushing cases, and fratting our butts off, are now replaced by sober movie nights, countless feminine issues, and the pain of being locked down with just one girl. We feel this pain, too. But since we have mad love for our brothers, we’re always scheming up plans to bring them back. I’m here to inform you how you can get your bro back and let him know that his girlfriend kind of sucks. 

1. Nerd out. Purdue students are smart, but Greek Purdue men are smart and ferociously relentless when it comes to accomplishing a task when we put our minds to it, especially with numbers. Social media stalk this girl for the life of you. Her Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Four Square, etc. are all in play. Find out her old boyfriends, previous hookups, and any other dirt and rumors that you can fish up. Feel free to make things up, too. Once you find something, you have to find the right time to bring it up. It’s all in the delivery, dudes. You have to come off being sincere and concerned, rather than running in his room all the way turnt up about this. The more that you look like you’re doing this for him, the better. Because, let’s be real, it’s for the betterment of each and every one of us.    

2. Frat-ception. In this method, you’re going to have to play some mind games with your brother. Like the first method, you’re going to have to do this nonchalantly and without getting too excited. On a random night, casually drop hints of how you miss the old days when you were just two wildcats on the prowl. Give him the classic, hand-on-the-shoulder-with-intense-eye-contact, maneuver. Make it more about your brotherhood than about the girl. When it becomes personal, guys are more likely to start questioning their decisions. Trust me, girls, we’re all softies deep down. It is considerably easier to convince your bro that he needs to break up with his girlfriend when a seed of doubt has been planted in his brain.    

3. Keep it “one hunnid.” Have an intervention with your bro and keep it 100 percent honest. There’s got to be something about this girl that you and all your friends absolutely hate, so just bring it up in the most sincere way possible. If you are straight up with your buddy, you’ll have a great conversation and could, potentially, make some moves. Prepare a solid argument and present it to him. PowerPoints and suits are highly recommended. However, this should always be a last resort move because they other moves are substantially better and more fun.    

Bring your bro back to the fight. It’s a win-now league, and after four years of fun in college, you’ll have plenty of time to get dragged down by a nagging girlfriend. Amongst the adversity, shout out the girls who let their men party and allow dudes to be dudes. You the real MVP, shawty.  

For more advice on how to swerve out of the girlfriend zone, follow me on Twitter @FratYeezus, and check out my articles at www.theodysseyonline.com/purdue.