This article is aimed at Purdue men who, according to my observations, make up roughly 96.7% of our campus population unless, of course, you happen to be walking by the Starbuck's inside the union, in which which case you’ll drown in a sea of yoga pants and uggs, but I digress.

This article is aimed towards men, because, as everyone knows… girls don’t do that.

Purdue Memorial Union. The Union offers large restrooms that must have candles the size of a Prius stashed away somewhere because they always smell amazing. The stalls are perfectly roomy and complete with all the amenities, including a coat hook. It’s easy to get comfortable between classes and you can even grab a milkshake at Pappy's on your way out!

Armstrong basement. The best thing about Armstrong Hall? The bathrooms. It’s an engineering hall, for Christ’s sake and, literally, nothing good happens there. I started my career at Purdue as an engineer and I quickly learned that I would much rather spend my 7:30 a.m. Engineering 131 class on the commode (or in front of it) than doing math lab or any of that other stuff.

Class of fifty. If you want privacy, this is your place. People do not simply just pass through the Class of Fifty, so if they do happen to be there, they are in lecture or lost. Therefore, you won’t be bothered and can enjoy your time of tranquility alone.

Places to avoid. Heavilon, Krannerty, Elliot, Weatherill, University, Recitation or, basically, any other one of the standard old brick buildings on campus.

Let’s face it, Purdue is old. Most campus buildings are old and plumbing fixtures are not something that the higher ups consider a priority. I have carefully scoured the campus to bring you these three luxurious commodes to check out and enjoy for yourself. You’ll thank me, later.

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