Just over a month ago, my relationship of almost two years came to an end. I was lucky to have been in a relationship with a person who was a genuine, kind-hearted human being. When the time came that our differences had become too great, our goals too different, and we were just generally treating each other like crap, we ended it. Amicably.

So, we are now broken up, done, over. However you want to say it, it’s happened. And so begins those awkward first encounters with friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. The conversations where, for whatever reason, your partner has been brought up, and you now have to explain that the two of you are no longer together.

“I drove past so-and-so the other day, how are they doing?”

“Well, I’m not sure, we haven’t spoken in a couple weeks. We aren’t together anymore.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that!”

“It’s okay, it was amicable, and what’s best for both of us.”

And then... the stare.

This has now happened to me on countless occasions. If you happened to be said stare-er, know you are not alone. I have deemed this phenomena The Sympathy Stare. What is happening on the other end of this conversation that causes The Sympathy Stare?

Perhaps they are waiting for you to cry. Well, I just told you that it was amicable and the best thing for both of us. Of course I cried about it, but I’m not just going to break down here at the grocery store. I am not going to suddenly cry now, here, in front of you, and whomever else is buying cat food.

Or perhaps they are waiting for you to elaborate on the actual circumstances of the break up. Well, I hate to break it to you, but if I didn’t call or text you the day it happened, you’re never going to know the details of what happened. That’s pretty darn personal, sir or madam. And why would I want to "open old wounds," as they say?

The best possible explanation for the longing look of sympathy might just be because they are genuinely concerned about your overall well-being. I am flattered and hope this is the motivation behind most of these stares. However, if our conversation started with, “What have you been up too?” I likely gave you a brief list of all the things I, the average college student, is busy doing. I just plain don’t have time to be sad, or unhealthy, or distracted in any way. While I absolutely appreciate that you are concerned about my overall well-being, is this look somehow sending beams of happiness deep into my heart, and suddenly all will be better? Because if it is, where did you learn to do that, and can you teach me?

Whatever the reason behind The Sympathy Stare, please stop doing it. For all of us newly single folks out there, if we tell you we are fine, we are fine. You aren’t in trouble for bringing our ex up, but we don’t want to have much of a conversation about it. Change the subject. Ask me what I’ve been doing in my newly found single-dom, ask me about my weekend plans, ask me about Tinder because that’s a hilarious story. Just please, do not stare at me with your sympathetic eyes.