I couldn't tell you what team Ray Rice plays for, or that he was even a football player before this week. A quick Google search later and I have seen the headlines that you've seen as well. He abused his fiancé, he hit a woman, and most importantly (considering it's the first thing to pop up on my Google search): he's on an indefinite suspension from the National Football League. 

This is not the first time we've seen domestic violence in the news. It's not the first time someone famous has made a mistake and been caught on camera for it. And it won't be the last. But there's a deeper issue here that no one seems to ever mention. Why do we continue to make celebrities out of people who do these horrendous acts, but never focus on the actual issue? 

Go over the story of what happened. Take away all the names and titles and status, and you're left with this: a man domestically abused his partner. We don't need to add any more drama to the story than that, and we certainly don't need to keep victimizing the woman. 

All the media has done is talk about Ray Rice. How awful he is, how sad it is he can't play anymore, how he got exactly what he deserved. No one is talking about the woman he abused. We talk about raising awareness for abusive relationships and encouraging the abused to seek help, but the second it's a celebrity playing the role of the abuser, the conversation about the abused ends. So much for being compassionate and sympathetic, the only sympathy the media shows is towards the abuser. 

We're not any better - we eat that stuff up! We thrive off of other people's drama, we love getting angry and defensive over people we have never met. The media gives us substance to argue and debate and form opinions over and we take it, hook line and sinker. 

What if we stopped forming opinions over the celebrity abuser and started forming opinions about the abused? Instead of focusing on Ray Rice, why can't we try to see that at the root of the issue there are two broken, hurting people, whose lives will never be the same. Stop elevating a celebrity for making a mistake and start looking for ways to make things better. If we continue to remain stuck on the same irrelevant arguments, nothing will ever change. Who cares if the football star never plays another game of football - is that what he deserves? Maybe. But even that can't make up for the damage he has caused another person.

Agree or disagree, I don't think Ray Rice is a monster. He's made some mistakes, but he doesn't need our opinions on how to right those wrongs. What happens next is none of our business. It's not our call to say what is right or fair or just. We aren't in that relationship and we don't know or care for those people. Is it disappointing that someone many people looked up to as a role model did this? Absolutely. But that's the whole point. Even role models make mistakes, and it's how they handle the consequences that we need to pay attention to. 

As a celebrity it was probably impossible for Ray Rice to avoid this getting out. But now that it is out it is up to us to respond. Are we going to turn the focus of a heartbreaking situation on the career consequences of the abuser? Or are we going to focus the attention on how to better deal with situations like these? 

Just consider this: if you found out your best friend was abused or abusing someone else, would you splash it over the school newspaper? Probably not. You would encourage them to seek help, to find closure, and to find a way to make things better. Why can't we extend the same courtesy to celebrities? This is a chance for a conversation about domestic abuse, and all we seem to care about is whether Ray Rice will play another football game again.