This is something I never talk about and, quite frankly, never even think about discussing.
I am the youngest of three girls and, as the youngest, you know that it is your duty to be the comic relief and the "easy one." No matter what age you are, you’re always the baby, too naïve to be informed. This societal placement also carries into my group of friends. Everyone knows me as the person taking on life for all it has to offer, always the happy one. Although completely true, everyone has something that sculpts his or her life into the unique, complex masterpiece that it is.
There is something that needs to be shared. It has been 13 years since my father committed suicide, and I think it’s time to discuss a topic that should never be left in the dark.
Over the years, I have known large numbers of people with mental illnesses, and it’s
always this awkward topic that nobody talks about. I remember
going to therapy in middle school and feeling like a complete and total freak
show. In our society, if your life isn’t perfect then everyone’s
going to judge you for all of your flaws. Well, let me tell you something. In all of my years, there have been times when I have tried to be something
that I’m not just so that people will accept me, but I’ve learned that trying
to be something you’re not gets you absolutely nowhere. People will still judge
you, no matter what front you put on. If you are a loser, people
will bully you. If you’re too cool, someone’s going to be jealous -- and they’re still going to bully you.
So, I’m going to share quite a bit
of information because I’m tired of caring what people think.
Mental
illness should not be something to be ashamed of. The number of
your friends who take mood stabilizers and anti-depression medication is a lot
higher than you know. If people talked about how they really felt, and
acted how they truly wanted to, then the suicide statistics would not be as high
as they are today. My father, being bipolar, ADD, OCD and an abnormally
anxious person, would be dubbed as a societal outcast. Why? Because his brain did not function the same way a “normal” human’s would. But, what is normal these days? About one in every four people has mental
illness. So why do we keep calling it normal?
I have never
talked about this subject in depth because I never wanted to be labeled
as the girl with “daddy issues.” What I’ve come to realize, with age and
maturity, is that I have a million labels, so what’s one more. I could
proceed in life with only having a few people know this about me,
or I could share my knowledge and encourage other people to do the same. There’s a reason why an organization called, Out Of The
Darkness, exists. Nobody talks about what they are actually thinking, and they
can become so consumed by their own mind, that it just drives them to complete
madness.
Which is
why I’m sitting here, on August 10, writing about an event that
occurred exactly 13 years ago, today, that will continue to impact me for
the rest of my life.
People who commit suicide do it in two ways -- either
very impulsively, or premeditated. My father's written note actually had the
date crossed out three times, indicating that he thought about it for the
entire summer. But, I’m not writing this as a way of telling you about my
story because this is an extremely shortened version. Rather, I’m writing
this to encourage you to gain knowledge for yourself so you can be
there for others. You have no idea what other people are going through
and if you are better educated on this topic then you could be the reason
that someone wakes up another day.
For
example, George Orley was the happiest human I have ever met in my life. The only time I was ever remotely mad at him
was when I played Cranbrook in tennis and he cheered for his home
school. The kid could brighten up a room
just with his face-crinkling smile and that goofy little giggle. But, unless you knew George extremely well, you had no idea that
George was going to take his life almost a year ago today.
It is natural for your first thoughts to be, "how could they do this to me? They seemed so
happy!" Everyone believes suicide to
be this selfish act, but the intention of a suicide victim is that by taking his
or her life they will make the world a better place and everyone will be
happier without them. It is a completely
selfless act, if you ask me, but completely wrong. Suicide is never the
answer.
This is all happening at the same time as one of the world’s most beloved
comedians, Robin Williams, took his life. This is proof that for these three people,
no amount of money, fame, looks, power, etc., could ever change a person’s mental
stability. What can change, though, is
reaching out and being there for those who need you. I know this is small, but every time I hang up
the phone or leave someone close to me I always say I love you more than I need
to. My sisters tell me I use it too much, causing it to lose importance. From
my perspective, people need to hear it and everyone needs to know they are
loved. You can’t turn back time, but you
can change the future. You can change someone’s life.
Find
out more by visiting AFSP, Psych Central, or NAMI. AFSP has a link of walks that are found near
campuses near you, including the walk on September 13 at Michigan
State. If you're busy that day, there are a number of other walks in
areas all around the country. I encourage you to visit these
websites and find out more. You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing
so, and everything to gain.