A countless amount of people may think of homosexuals as being some of the most jovial individuals on Earth. Members of the world, the ones who love and support us, may define homosexuals as fabulous, sassy, fierce, along with many other adjectives. However, numerous of us homosexuals do not define ourselves by those words or only place that “fierce” wall up as a way to conceal the true emotions within us. Being a college student is tough enough, but now add gay to that equation. Suddenly, you now have four words, a gay college student, which by default makes one’s college experience that much more complicated… so I thought.

Being openly gay is hard-hitting, but also a journey I credit to my inner strength. There are stereotypes people place on us instantaneously, stereotypes that are not true for several of us. We live our lives knowing we can be murdered solely because of our decision to love who we want to love. Many people envision us as walking diseases because of the HIV and AIDS epidemic, despite heterosexuals being able to contract it too. Simply imagine being dehumanized or degraded purely because of who you choose to love.

Because of my sexuality, my depression was born. Being depressed is like being in love with the person of your dreams, mine being Paul Rudd, and then having your heart broken abruptly. Now imagine having that devastating and heartbreaking feeling, but staying permanently. You start to feel hopeless and as if you are being targeted by everyone. My depression started back in high school due to severe bullying because of my sexuality. I was bullied for what I wore, the activities I put myself in, always being around girls, and for simply being “different." I came out as gay to my friends and family four days before my birthday. The reaction was mixed and my birthday, as many can imagine, was ruined. My mother, who is now fully supportive of my sexuality, left me in a very dark and vulnerable place. However, all this changed when a ray of light shone into my life; that ray of light being my Steve Madden boots. I had bought the boots as a gift to myself for doing the bravest thing I had ever done in the 16 years of my life. It was the only gift I received that year due to the circumstances, but it was the best gift ever. This all changed when I wore them to school one day and was completely harassed and mocked. Many of the boys laughed at me and pointed to the shoes. One even said, “You might as well wear a dress with those boots." Another even admitted to liking the boots, but just harassing me because of my sexuality. To this day, I have never worn those boots again.

When I got accepted to Monmouth University, I was suicidal and my worries about being openly gay became a regular part of my life. The school lacked in diversity and with me being Hispanic and gay, my worries just kept getting worse. I thought of ways to change the way I look and how I acted to perhaps have a more “regular” life. When it was time to go to Monmouth orientation, I was on antidepressants and looking forward to a new and perhaps better experience. During one group activity, the person in charge asked all people who were lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender to step forward on a line. I stood still for about a few seconds being petrified beyond measures, but then I decided that my college life would be different as long as I tried. A few seconds later I stepped forward with all the courage I had and revealed to my college that I was gay. All of these worries left when I started talking to students and realized that my sexuality was not a factor in anything. This thing that I felt defined me as a person no longer mattered. People started to know me more as the kid who loved Beyoncé than “the gay kid” I was known as in high school.

However, being gay still comes with constant struggles to deal with. People think because I am gay, I am weak; I was a football player for six years. People think because I am gay, I for some reason have to love fashion; I wear sweats nearly every day. People think because I am gay, I must like every guy I see; I look at a girl before I look at a guy, MOST of the time. People think because I am gay, I have to love Beyoncé; well that is true, all hail Beysus.

Nonetheless, all these stereotypes do not mean a thing at Monmouth. So this article here is dedicated to all my Monmouth University students. I appreciate all of you for being some of the most considerate and thoughtful people I have had the chance to come across. You all made me realize that being gay does not define me and is not who I am - it's just something that comes with this splendid person. You all made me realize that I will one day conquer the little that is left of my depression and be the happiest GAY on Earth. My experience at high school was nothing more than just a bump along the road before entering the best time of my life. To my fellow Monmouth University students: Thank You.