You remind me of the fall because you were my downfall. I am both happy and sad that you were not the one, our story ended as soon as it had begun. You read not even one page and decided you didn't like a New York Times bestseller. Maybe the cover didn't interest you, only being under the covers.
When you didn't choose me I painted the sky black. I felt like I was suffocating, absent from myself, empty. I was in pain and you weren't and it wasn't fair. I didn't need you but I kind of wanted you. I gave so much and kept giving until I had nothing left to give, I wasn't about to beg or fight for someone who didn't know what they wanted. I began to critique myself and wonder what was wrong with me, what I could have done or said differently to make you stay. Thank you for not choosing me because you didn't choose me, I chose me. And I will continue to choose me today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my days to come.
For too long I was a damsel in distress, I wanted so badly for someone to save me but then I decided I was going to save myself, be my own knight in shining stilettos. I deserve to be happy, healthy, and I'm deserving of all things. I have really enjoyed getting to know myself again. People make a big deal about falling in love, but oh my, I'm falling head over heels with the woman I'm becoming, and that, that is a feeling like no other.
I have found out I still do not like cheese, but boy, have I become a big fan of jalapenos. I have found out how strong a woman I actually am and that in fact there is nothing wrong with me. After all, what's a weak boy to do with a strong woman? Life feels saturated because I chose myself. I have smile lines, I no longer laugh just because of the simple fact I enjoy the sound of laughter but because I am loving me and my life.
So thank you, thank you for not choosing me. I may not have been enough for you but I sure as hell am enough for me and that is all that counts, all that matters. Because at the end of the day you're all you've got and you don't need the validation of anyone to dictate your self-worth. Because of you I have learned that one of the most important relationships you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. So love yourself because you are intelligent, beautiful, unique, brave, deserving, and worthy of the love that you would give away.