A Definitive Ranking of Pick-Up Lines
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A Definitive Ranking of Pick-Up Lines

What NOT to say to a girl.

Corey Klein
Oct 22, 2014
University of Michigan
303
A Definitive Ranking of Pick-Up Lines

I asked guys to send me their best pick-up lines. Some of the the results were less "cheesy" and more "that must be why you're single." I've ranked them on a scale from "cute" to "crindge-worthy". 

lol cute, I might actually reply:
  1. "You look like a great first date” - Kyle 
  2. "I'm no photographer, but I can picture you and I together (:" - Zachary   
  3. "On a scale of one to America, how free are you this weekend?" - Alex   
  4. "So now that we've been matched on tinder...what are your other two wishes?" - Alex   
  5. “Hey you know what this shirt's made out of??? Boyfriend material” - Zach  
  6. “I'm pretty and you're cute. Together we'd be pretty cute ;)” - Ryan  
  7. “Are you an ideal amount of red phosphorous and I am a small wooden stick? Because we're a match.” - Tommy    
  8. "We need to take a picture together ASAP!! (Why?) Because I want to make sure I get ALL of the credit since I've proved angels do exist ;)" - Robert 

Well, you just made things awkward:

  1. “Hey!! You're pretty and I'm drunk. Wanna make out about it?” - Noah  
  2. “I once wrestled with a bear and won, saved a colony of baby seals by killing a great white shark with a shoe, but watching Netflix with you on a cold night, would still be the highlight of my life. If not for me, do it for the baby seals!” - Connor   
  3. "We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you." - Luke 

Slightly insulting:

  1. “Since prostitution is illegal how about I voluntarily 'hang out' with you and gas money is exchanged?” - Hunter 
  2. "So my buddy here says you're way too pretty to be interesting but I say that's hogwash." - Benjamin 
  3. “Hi random girl, if you find me attractive I'll be actually nice to you. Yes this was copy and pasted." - Hunter 

Cringe-worthy:

  1. "The word of the day is legs, so what do you say we go back to my place and spread the word." - John (How about not...) 
  2. "Are you a haunted house? Cuz I'd be screaming if I was inside of you ;)" - Christian (Points for festivity...but, no.)
  3. “Hey girl did you grow up on a chicken farm? Cuz you sure know how to raise a cock” - John (Really... "Cuz"?)
  4. “You are a work of art. And I would have no problem nailing you on the wall.” - Nick 
  5. “What's your favorite Subway sandwich because if you play your cards right you can expect some sort of footlong tonight. ;)” - Matt 

My personal favorite submission (from Cory):

  1. "Hey"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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